1045 - Work again

Returned to work, but took the morning off
Watched TV, and read a biography
That now and then is proving somewhat tough
It’s about Elizabeth Bathory
Who tortured and killed girls in Hungary
Around the time of Shakespeare, spearing them
Burning and freezing them horrifically
Killing 300 or more in her dens
Her castles, manor houses, noble friends
Protecting her for so long. Then work stuff
Had to be done in Warrington, where we
Discussed tax with a company. I went
In navy suit and purple tie… Enough
Smartness for one year - scruffiness for me!
Wed 15 July 2009

561 - Train of no thought

I knew that it would happen yet again,
And sure enough it did: I lay awake
Half the night, because of the early train
To Birmingham I’d to be sure to take
To get to the meeting. Of tax we spake,
Specifically of oils excise duty,
Allowing ourselves a short coffee break,
Scanning the Brum skyline (short on beauty),
The minutes taken by quite a cutie.
My concentration proved hard to sustain,
My interest in their comments largely fake,
But I did my best. Then back to New Street,
Then back to Piccadilly. Tried in vain
To write on the train. (The noise young girls make!)
Tue 18 Mar 2008

560 - Sand people

The world is chaos. We are grains of sand.
Some end on top, but most just get buried.
We mute inglorious multitudes are banned
From the banquet, ghostly like Banquo, dead
To all except the families we feed,
The workmates we compete with for our crumbs,
The businesses that cajole, flatter, plead
For those crumbs afterwards. Oh look, here comes
The government, a ‘business’ doing its sums
With non-monarchical divine right hand,
Taxing citizens to death. Peasants, freed
From feudal yoke by welfare payments (bums!),
Must be corralled back into serfdom, and
Forced once again to sow the seeds of greed.
Mon 17 Mar 2008

547 - Sonnet CV

Here's my CV in sonnet form, dear world!
I was educated to A level
In Lichfield. Then to Manchester travelled,
An arts degree gained. Then I worked to sell
Ad space, conservatories by phone; doorbell
Ringing to sell mortgages to council
Tenants in Thatcher's time. Didn't do well,
So got a steady job in the civil
Service, in V.A.T. from '90 till
'98, moving to excise. I held
A policy adviser's job. It fell
To me to improve law and keep the till
Full with proceeds from tax. It's not quite filled,
But wait - was that pips squeaking? We've done well!
Tue 4 Mar 2008

445 - Oil's not well

The car carried us crazily cross moors
From Lancs to Yorks to Lincs. Immingham docks
And oil refinery the place, the cause
A need to find out about huge oil stocks
That big boats carry crudely. Our man clocks
What comes in and, refined, goes out to sea
He peeps at pipes. Perhaps he'll pull their socks
Up if they've not done - and paid - their duty
Which England expects, her economy
Kept in the black by black gold tax, her shores
Kept afloat by assuring well-kept books
Brooking no shortfalls. All's well, or maybe
Oil's well that ends well. They'll follow tax laws
They would attack without a taxman's knocks

Fri 23 Nov 2007

385 - Tap tap tap tap, t-typing all day long

Tap tap tap tap, t-typing all day long
Tap tap tap tap, and half the evening too
By day I keep UK taxation strong
By night I post poems and email you
My diligent digits determined to
Detail the data, dating and stating
Starting and stopping, darting, dotting. Q
At top left, while at top right, P’s popping
Up down up down, tap tap tap, tip-topping
The funky fingers tap dancing along
Treading the keyboards till they all turn blue
You’ll never be bored. Man, this desk’s rocking!
Tap tap tap tap, t-typing tuneless song
The time is ripe to stop, line fourteen’s through
Mon 24 Sep 2007

379 - From Manchester to Birmingham return

From Manchester to Birmingham return,
This train trip took me back, and not only
In space, along its track, for me to earn
My corn, discussing oil excise duty,
But also back in time, to a city
I knew when young, but how it’s changed! The names
Of streets are the same, but I would not see;
My eyes rejecting the new, as my brain’s
Picturing old shops, old buses, old trains
From 25 years ago. To relearn,
Retrace, retread (the opportunity
My meeting gave), a search for what remains
Of memories of former things. I turn
Some pages on Proust to pass my journey.
Tue 18 Sep 2007

296 - If we hate to pay taxes, then we hate

If we hate to pay taxes, then we hate
To give to others or share worldly wealth
With the less comfortable, less fortunate,
Preferring just to keep it for ourself.
Perhaps we should leave poor kids on the shelf
To sit in brutish ignorance or roam
In packs, a danger to the national health,
The unwashed streets their chosen lawless home.
If your house catches fire, find your own foam
Or water, and if sick, expect your mate
To stop working and tend to you themself,
In which case, to pay bills, they’ll need a loan.
It’s easy to attack the welfare state,
But do so and disease will grow by stealth.
Wed 27 June 2007

285 - I work five days a week for government

I work five days a week for government,
For one reason only: to get money
(Although a third is withheld for payment
Of income tax and so on, naturally).
So I pay them and they also pay me,
And then with my two-thirds, I buy the things
I need or want, and also frequently
Waste it, or fall victim to various stings.
And so the money merry-go-round brings
Us in a circle each month, having sent
Us off loaded, returning us lightly
With one coin left to which our finger clings.
But let’s enjoy the ride, for we are meant
To have fun rather than always worry.
Sat 16 June 2007

224 - Kids drink and screw and stab and shoot, or so

Kids drink and screw and stab and shoot, or so
The papers tell us. Do they want to scare
Us into right-wing thinking, even though
Our lives are ever easier? They care,
Or so they claim, about justice, but their
Proprietors are tax-avoiding and
Manipulative. Does a millionaire
Get where he is by wringing of the hand?
Inheritance tax may not seem so grand,
But how else will the money ever flow
From haves to have nots? People will not share.
Above all, we have got to understand
That peace comes not from military show
Of force, or hard-line police, but being fair.
Mon 16 Apr 2007

141 - The great oil-burning bush will speak tonight

The great oil-burning bush will speak tonight
And dispense scripted wisdom right on cue
About how we should no longer ignite
The black gold purchased from folks of brown hue.
To balance the budget and stop wars too
We should increasingly use fuel from corn.
The Midwest won’t protest red white and blue-
Based policies like this, sure as they’re born.
In Salford, UK, I get up each morn
And walk to the office in which I toil
-But not too hard - where policy is drawn
Up for the use and taxation of oil.
We want to remove tax on biofuel -
We’re hoping to achieve this by April.
Tue 23 Jan 2007