1042 - In Ireland 4 - Sheep's Head

I woke up in a red car in Bantry
I walked around the town, around the bay
Around the bend, past the camp of gypsies
The Cork and Kerry Mountains rose and lay
The Pillar of Kilnaruane don’t say
Too much, pointing straight up; no direction
Except the sky. Consulting notes, my way
Led me down Sheep’s Head towards Kilcrohane
Steep green slopes bled into blue sea. Drove down
To a farmhouse called Desmond’s; white, lonely
Where a small, select group had come to play
Tomás spoke verse and Derek actually sang
Drove up and down and around with Andy.
Tor and Ky (musicians) said I could stay
Sunday 12 July 2009

1041 - In Ireland 3 - Cork and Kerry mountains

Torrential rain all day, till around six
Drove from Killarney to good old Bantry
Across the Gap of Dunloe, with its tricks
Of tight bends, sheep and rain, incessantly
Caught sixty winks down by the Bantry quay
And then found Bantry Boys’ Club (That was hard!)
Tonight was a good night for poetry
It seemed to go down well, seems to have scored
A local hit: a succession of bards
Some more traditional, some with music
Even some kids and food, additionally
And afterwards… What happened afterwards?
Oh yeah, more drinks and chat with the poets
Who’d come from all Ireland and overseas
Sat 11 July 2009

1040 - In Ireland 2 - Galway, Clare and Kerry

Ireland, day two - things went somewhat smoother
No large losses of money, cock-ups, stress
There is one thing that’s still crap, however
And that was the grand old Irish rain. Yes!
It never lets you down. It fell like piss
So I sat in the car in Ballyvaughan,
North County Clare, with my second breakfast
Of chicken and chips (wedges, as they’re known)
And then did my best to see The Burren
And the Cliffs of Moher in the shit weather
Drowned ratdom gets boring, I must confess
So, drove south: Spanish Point, Ennis, the town
Of Limerick on the wide Shannon River
On through Adare, to Killarney, and rest!
Fri 10 July 2009

1039 - In Ireland - Mayo and Galway

Ireland, day one - a day of big mistakes!
First off, I forgot to pack my glasses!
Not good when I’m driving a hired car. Yikes!
And then, at Liverpool Airport, there is
No BMI Baby check-in, because
My flight’s from Manchester, NOT Liverpool!
My taxi zoomed there (Cost: 50 knickers!)
A late take-off to Knock saved this damn fool!
At Knock Airport the car hire cost a full
Hundred euro more to insure ’gainst breaks
Or pay 300 euro for scratches
No time, or eyesight, to go driving all
Round Mayo. Knock-Tuam-Galway in three shakes
Galway’s always busy; it always is
Thur 9 July 2009

994 - The death of romance (again)

Weather Report are playing in my flat
And flat is how things look now: sky is grey
What a contrast with the warm sunshine that
Greeted us when we met earlier today
We went to Yorkshire, the Halifax way
Turned back to Hebden Bridge and wandered round
I bought stuff as usual, gave cash away
But nice things for the flat were what I found
Along with freedom. She also cooled down
Like today’s weather, she started off hot
Now we both want to explore separate ways
I’m pleased it ended quietly, no sound
Of arguing in the car, no spits or spats
Romance is dead, but freedom wins the day!
Mon 25 May 2009

957 - Down and up

Another Saturday in London town
Last week I went with you on Megabus
Well today it’s with Louis I’m back down
Taking him back to continue studies
At Westminster Uni, Harrow Campus
But first, it’s off to see another game
The Rams are visiting Crystal Palace
So come on Derby, it’d be a shame
If our season spluttered out like a flame
On a birthday cake candle when it’s blown
After I’ve dropped him off with little fuss
It’s up the motorway once more; those same
Old sights and red rear lights that have all grown
Familiar over years… Then once more, us
Sat 18 Apr 2009

897 - Snippets of my day

Another day at work but not much done
Always distracted by emails, chatting,
Brewing up, answering calls on the phone
Writing to-do lists, another meeting
Left early, worried about battling
The rush hour going south from Manchester
Made worse by roadworks, soothed by listening
To gospel. (Was amazed by a builder
This morning, mobile held up to his ear
While standing by a pneumatic drill. Dumb!
But then they don’t get prizes for thinking)
Collected little J, then big sister
P and her mother V, then I drove on
To Pizza Express for serious eating…!
Tue 17 Feb 2009

874 - Fourteen lines with two rhymes and an 'oh'

Woke up at eight, thought, ‘Mustn’t be late,’ so
Hopped out of bed, usual shouts from below
‘Hang on,’ you ask, ‘it’s Sunday. No tasks. Slow!’
But I’d promised not to miss little Jo
Waiting, anticipating in Wilmslow
I’d driven down there by eleven, though
My Ford drove from Salford and is quite slow
No waiting, accelerating I’d go
When white van man incites my anger, show
Boy racer tendencies, outpace these low
Forms of life, get to ex-wife’s; didn’t know
Where to have lunch with Jo, my hunch was ‘No’
To Pizza Express; wallet needs less flow
Late breakfast, then fast to Disney film show
Sun 25 Jan 2009

865 - Real gods

The real gods of today are footballers
WAGS with unlimited shopping budgets
Worse for wear girls always in the papers
Staggering out of clubs showing their t*ts
Or blokes from some boy band which had two hits
With badly-sung 70s songs. Soap stars
Who turn on Christmas lights and do their bit
For charity. Young owners of sports cars
With blond hair flowing, waving into bars
As they drive past. Got to respect gangsters
Praying to them, please spare us from bullets
We make icons of those who start the wars
Albeit with black frames, for surely there's
A worshipping of evil in our hearts
Fri 16 Jan 2009

850 - Happy New Year

The fireworks break the silence and the dark
Of blackest midnight’s momentary grip
The past strangled, the new year makes its mark
It wipes its fratricidal hands and slips
Into the driver’s seat. Another trip
Into the unknown, please. You know the drill:
Yes, let’s have lots of scary turns and dips
And on the journey, we’ll count those you kill
With foot full down and hands spinning the wheel
Unless we’re thrown or you suddenly park
By some icy roadside and then you flip
Around, arm on the seat top, smile, reveal
A hideous bony face like ours, so stark
‘Here is your future,’ spoken without lips
Thur 1 Jan 2009

845 - White remembered hills

I got up early to go for a run
In the steep hills of Cheshire’s own Lyme Park
First off, I did my old warm-up routine
Of press-ups, knee-jerks, stretching. The car park
Was cold in my running gear, and the spark
Of my car ignition failed several times
But thank God, after several tries, it worked
And I drove down to Pott Shrigley to find
Lots of cars there. Obviously great minds
Think alike. The post-Christmas keep-fit scene
Was in full swing even at ten. A leak
Behind a bush, then I set off to climb
Those steep hills, puddles frozen, frost and sun
And woolly-hatted folk out for a walk
Sat 27 Dec 2008

762 - Nightride

Rain on windscreen, wipers intermittent
Striped ambulance like a zebra in flight
The further north I drive the more intense
The rainfall, here on the M6 at night
Try not to go above the speed limit
No matter what white van provocation
Defeat my own competitive spirit
Enjoy the slow lane’s soothing sensation
Lose sense of time and of situation
To music in the dark, as when student
Sat stoned in small room clinging to the kite
Of stereo guitar infiltration
And often surreal lyrical content
Stafford, Stoke, signposts reflecting headlights
Sun 5 Oct 2008

761 - View from Harrow-on-the-Hill

Drove down to London where my son waited.
I came through South Harrow (not North), up past
The famous Harrow School, with all the kids
(All boys) in black blazers walking from class.
It may be that they were all upper class,
Or upper middle, at least. From this hill
Top I glimpsed much of London, but it passed
In a second, obscured by trees, not till
I’d spotted Harrow Campus looking real
Rectangular, a sixties box; it hid
Behind a green moving screen, but at last
I’d reached Louis. Then, having had my fill
Of driving, caught the tube train to Watford
To see them beat Preston. It was a blast
Sat 4 Oct 2008

740 - Plymouth don't rock

We drove right down to Plymouth with its Hoe
Almost the toe of Britain, Mayflower port
The reason? Plymouth v Norwich, no-show
In skill terms, but a comedy of sorts
Poor old Sturrock, the Plymouth boss, was caught
Like a rabbit in headlights; his team booed
Off at half-time, unusually. He brought
On Emile Mpenza, perhaps a shrewd
Buy, but he missed his header, and the rude
Prospect of relegation looms. He’ll go,
Will their boss, unless he’s very soon thought
Up how to make The Greens pass better. Who’d
Have thought we could drive that far, and that slow
But still get there and back in time that short!
Sat 13 Sep 2008

737 - Life without a car

I’m contemplating life without a car
My little runaround is almost dead
The engine’s worn out, been driven so far
That it needs replacing. Ain’t got the bread.
In any case, it seems you can instead
Join one of these car clubs for small payment
And then just use their shared cars, getting rid
Of your regular car costs: heaven sent
For those looking to save. It’s what I meant
To do when I bought my flat that’s so near
To my office that I can walk there, tread
The streets of Manchester and Salford, bent
On a good time without taxi, tramcar
Or train. More money’s spent on getting fed!
Wed 10 Sep 2008

731 - An English driver foresees his fine

Oh Officer, I obviously forgot
To buy a new tax disc at August's end
You're right to be sarcastic - I'm a clot
I do have ready funds that I can spend
But when the reminder letter was sent
The glove compartment of my car is where
I unaccountably placed it, since when
I clean forgot that it was lying there
Under a pile of CDs. To repair
This damage to my image, please say what
I should do now to avoid a fine? Lend
Me your precious time and wisdom, please sir
Be nice to this poor citizen who's not
A lawbreaker, at least not in intent
Thur 4 Sep 2008

730 - Summer's end

Well I can now officially declare
That was the worst summer I’ve ever known
Very few sunny days, no chance to wear
Your summer gear, unless, of course, you’ve flown
Abroad this year. The rain’s fallen, wind’s blown
Last night I got drenched while out buying beer
Today is too cold to walk into town
Tomorrow it seems like I’ll have to wear
An autumn jacket. But, though skies aren’t clear
Stiff upper lip, folks, and never despair
Bad weather keeps us in, keeps us alone
Stops us from spending (except on a beer)
Credit crunch cutbacks; we’ve got to take care
To reduce debts and not take out more loans
Wed 3 Sep 2008

709 - Giant washout

Yesterday, sunshine, showers, sea and surf
Splashed in the open-air pool in the rain
Then Durdle Door and the cove at Lulworth
Stood on toe-splitting stones - Oh God, the pain! -
My daughter on my back, we played again
We waded into waves of deep blue-green
And drove and wove down dense green country lane
What a contrast to how today has been!
The driving rain meant we drove ourselves clean
Around the bend, our dreams brought down to earth
The rain from Dorset to Devon’s to blame
Cerne Abbas Giant, too wet to be seen
Likewise ‘white’ horse at Osmington, the turf
Green, the horse brown, its course drowned. Down the drain…
Wed 13 Aug 2008

705 - Puddletown blues

Been raining constantly today, people
All walking round in raincoats and wellies
The roads to Poole and Bournemouth were all full
As far away as Dorchester with these
Forsaken four-by-fours bound for the sea-
Side paradise of southern English squall
In that direction we would find no peace
We cut through country lanes, Hardy and all
Past Tincleton and Bovington, to Wool
Past Wareham (walled town), then the road to Poole
Where I’m back down to the level of cheese
And traffic jam. Terrific. Why don’t all
These bad day-tripping tourists get the hell
Out of here? Sod off on a plane to Greece!
Sat 9 Aug 2008

665 - What I did today, hey

A sunny day hey hey a sunny day
A mummy day hey hey a mummy day
A sunny day a mummy day hey hey
Hey it was sunny saw my mummy hey

A funny day hey hey a funny day
A yummy day hey hey a yummy day
A funny day a yummy day hey hey
Hey it was funny and was yummy hey

The sun shone and I went to see mum, hey
We had some laughs and had a big lunch, hey
The sun always shines on motorways, hey
Can’t open window then, get damn hot, hey

A sunny mummy funny yummy day
Banoffee, coffee, sticky toffee, hey

Mon 30 June 2008