It’s mid-September; the year’s running out
Even the decade’s running out of steam
Or is it me I’m really on about?
Is it me who’s becoming a has-been?
Can’t be, because I haven’t really been
Anything yet, and that’s why I can’t rest
Can’t tend a garden, contentedly lean
On my front gate, sun sinking in the west
I can’t relax, only escape at best
In the late evening, and when lights go out
Consoling visions turn drought into streams
In dreams that drown out shouts and screams, unrest
Upstairs and down, outside and inside out
That within minutes pulls me from each dream
Sun 14 Sep 2008
Sunday 30 January 2011
740 - Plymouth don't rock
We drove right down to Plymouth with its Hoe
Almost the toe of Britain, Mayflower port
The reason? Plymouth v Norwich, no-show
In skill terms, but a comedy of sorts
Poor old Sturrock, the Plymouth boss, was caught
Like a rabbit in headlights; his team booed
Off at half-time, unusually. He brought
On Emile Mpenza, perhaps a shrewd
Buy, but he missed his header, and the rude
Prospect of relegation looms. He’ll go,
Will their boss, unless he’s very soon thought
Up how to make The Greens pass better. Who’d
Have thought we could drive that far, and that slow
But still get there and back in time that short!
Sat 13 Sep 2008
Almost the toe of Britain, Mayflower port
The reason? Plymouth v Norwich, no-show
In skill terms, but a comedy of sorts
Poor old Sturrock, the Plymouth boss, was caught
Like a rabbit in headlights; his team booed
Off at half-time, unusually. He brought
On Emile Mpenza, perhaps a shrewd
Buy, but he missed his header, and the rude
Prospect of relegation looms. He’ll go,
Will their boss, unless he’s very soon thought
Up how to make The Greens pass better. Who’d
Have thought we could drive that far, and that slow
But still get there and back in time that short!
Sat 13 Sep 2008
739 - Barking mad
The time is drawing near, it’s here again
American election time is nigh
When they must choose Obama or McCain
Some of the things they say just make you sigh
Barack’s attack’s been knocked back somewhat by
The Sarah Palin news phenomenon
‘Pit bull with lipstick’ her convention cry
That’s ‘pit bull,’ not ‘pig,’ Barack. Listen, man
Or else she’ll maul ya, for all your elan
They don’t care, those dogs, they’ll cause you such pain
As their teeth clamp tight on your neck. Goodbye!
Or will Obama be like Superman
Saving America from a villain?
We won’t be sure whether to laugh or cry
Fri 12 Sep 2008
American election time is nigh
When they must choose Obama or McCain
Some of the things they say just make you sigh
Barack’s attack’s been knocked back somewhat by
The Sarah Palin news phenomenon
‘Pit bull with lipstick’ her convention cry
That’s ‘pit bull,’ not ‘pig,’ Barack. Listen, man
Or else she’ll maul ya, for all your elan
They don’t care, those dogs, they’ll cause you such pain
As their teeth clamp tight on your neck. Goodbye!
Or will Obama be like Superman
Saving America from a villain?
We won’t be sure whether to laugh or cry
Fri 12 Sep 2008
738 - Sea change
The Arctic's melting, and storms more frequent
So higher sea levels and heavier rain
Assault these precious islands nature lent
But seems to be taking away again
A nation of King Canutes stands in vain
Waving away the rising tides of doom
We can't all live on hills, desert the plain
We can't all build an ark, can't find the room
To park on Ararat, so I assume
The high ground is where the smart money's spent
The cock is crowing and the weather vane
Is spinning madly while the church's tune
Distorted by its hatred of the bent
Is joined by Neroic fiddle-playing
Thur 11 Sep 2008
So higher sea levels and heavier rain
Assault these precious islands nature lent
But seems to be taking away again
A nation of King Canutes stands in vain
Waving away the rising tides of doom
We can't all live on hills, desert the plain
We can't all build an ark, can't find the room
To park on Ararat, so I assume
The high ground is where the smart money's spent
The cock is crowing and the weather vane
Is spinning madly while the church's tune
Distorted by its hatred of the bent
Is joined by Neroic fiddle-playing
Thur 11 Sep 2008
737 - Life without a car
I’m contemplating life without a car
My little runaround is almost dead
The engine’s worn out, been driven so far
That it needs replacing. Ain’t got the bread.
In any case, it seems you can instead
Join one of these car clubs for small payment
And then just use their shared cars, getting rid
Of your regular car costs: heaven sent
For those looking to save. It’s what I meant
To do when I bought my flat that’s so near
To my office that I can walk there, tread
The streets of Manchester and Salford, bent
On a good time without taxi, tramcar
Or train. More money’s spent on getting fed!
Wed 10 Sep 2008
My little runaround is almost dead
The engine’s worn out, been driven so far
That it needs replacing. Ain’t got the bread.
In any case, it seems you can instead
Join one of these car clubs for small payment
And then just use their shared cars, getting rid
Of your regular car costs: heaven sent
For those looking to save. It’s what I meant
To do when I bought my flat that’s so near
To my office that I can walk there, tread
The streets of Manchester and Salford, bent
On a good time without taxi, tramcar
Or train. More money’s spent on getting fed!
Wed 10 Sep 2008
736 - Dream lover
If I stop drinking completely I find
The noisy neighbours deprive me of sleep
I become super-sensitive; they wind
Me up as I lie listening; they creep
Around, bang things and each other; they keep
Me from the point of drifting down the stream
Away from this dull, marshy plain to steep
And heady slopes where success is no dream
Gold nuggets just for me reflect the gleam
Of the still-rising sun, caressing wind
Undressing beauties, clothing in a heap
I lie at the top, position supreme
Then a bang in the night and I unwind
Unreeling, rolling through the real snow
Tue 9 Sep 2008
The noisy neighbours deprive me of sleep
I become super-sensitive; they wind
Me up as I lie listening; they creep
Around, bang things and each other; they keep
Me from the point of drifting down the stream
Away from this dull, marshy plain to steep
And heady slopes where success is no dream
Gold nuggets just for me reflect the gleam
Of the still-rising sun, caressing wind
Undressing beauties, clothing in a heap
I lie at the top, position supreme
Then a bang in the night and I unwind
Unreeling, rolling through the real snow
Tue 9 Sep 2008
735 - Bursting bubbles
My ma’s grandfather Alfred Dean had been
A school mate of this lad Billy Lever
Down Bolton way. Then Billy had a scheme:
To sell soap at the market. Alf was the
First one he asked to help him. Alf said, er,
No ta mate. Billy built the company
That made Sunlight and Pear’s Soap. Millionaire
And, with his wife Lizzie Hulme, thoroughly
Into works of art and philanthropy
From profits gleaned from keeping people clean
They even built Port Sunlight village, their
Pub-free paradise near the factory
If only Alfie Dean could have foreseen
That forever bubble-blowing future!
Mon 8 Sep 2008
A school mate of this lad Billy Lever
Down Bolton way. Then Billy had a scheme:
To sell soap at the market. Alf was the
First one he asked to help him. Alf said, er,
No ta mate. Billy built the company
That made Sunlight and Pear’s Soap. Millionaire
And, with his wife Lizzie Hulme, thoroughly
Into works of art and philanthropy
From profits gleaned from keeping people clean
They even built Port Sunlight village, their
Pub-free paradise near the factory
If only Alfie Dean could have foreseen
That forever bubble-blowing future!
Mon 8 Sep 2008
734 - Downing Street pillow talk
Oh Alistair, Darling, said Mrs D
You really must buy more hair dye, you know
I know you’re partial to economy
But why does most of your head look like snow
While your eyebrows are black as they can go
It’s not a good look, Darling; can they trust
A man with hair that doesn’t match on show?
Oh Gord, said Mrs B, this is the worst
Case scenario. Labour’s bubble’s burst
And you’re like a fish out of water. See
How you gulp for air as the rivers flow
Over Tony’s banks? When you speak you must
Not gulp or gasp. Though you’re charisma-free
I love the way your glass eye twinkles so
Sun 7 Sep 2008
You really must buy more hair dye, you know
I know you’re partial to economy
But why does most of your head look like snow
While your eyebrows are black as they can go
It’s not a good look, Darling; can they trust
A man with hair that doesn’t match on show?
Oh Gord, said Mrs B, this is the worst
Case scenario. Labour’s bubble’s burst
And you’re like a fish out of water. See
How you gulp for air as the rivers flow
Over Tony’s banks? When you speak you must
Not gulp or gasp. Though you’re charisma-free
I love the way your glass eye twinkles so
Sun 7 Sep 2008
733 - It was two years ago yesterday
Yesterday’s second anniversary
Of this odd enterprise I’m engaged in
Was not marked in my sonnet diary
What an unforgivable omission
Truth is, I was too keen on completion
Of yesterday’s sonnet while it was quiet
My office colleagues all out in the rain
At a union meeting, their disquiet
Being about the low pay offer. Wet
And noisy they’d return soon, so I’d be
Best off writing about, well, anything
I wrote about jazz and all that. Forget
Two years of sonnets? How could I? Easy
I just did, but now I’m remembering
Sat 6 Sep 2008
Of this odd enterprise I’m engaged in
Was not marked in my sonnet diary
What an unforgivable omission
Truth is, I was too keen on completion
Of yesterday’s sonnet while it was quiet
My office colleagues all out in the rain
At a union meeting, their disquiet
Being about the low pay offer. Wet
And noisy they’d return soon, so I’d be
Best off writing about, well, anything
I wrote about jazz and all that. Forget
Two years of sonnets? How could I? Easy
I just did, but now I’m remembering
Sat 6 Sep 2008
732 - Horn of plenty
I saw those hooded eyes, that Buddha face
Of Charlie Parker; that's how Kerouac
Describes him as he blows his horn, in place
As usual next to Dizzy's brass attack
On TV in '52, with no crack
Of emotion or movement in his eyes
His hands somehow obeying brain on smack
Looking twice his age. And soon, when he dies
The coroner will estimate fifties
As his age, not merely 34. Space,
Too much space in his brain; needs to pour back
Some shit to fill some of it in; devise
Some braking mechanism, slow the pace
Of bird thought in his head, pull off the track
Fri 5 Sep 2008
Of Charlie Parker; that's how Kerouac
Describes him as he blows his horn, in place
As usual next to Dizzy's brass attack
On TV in '52, with no crack
Of emotion or movement in his eyes
His hands somehow obeying brain on smack
Looking twice his age. And soon, when he dies
The coroner will estimate fifties
As his age, not merely 34. Space,
Too much space in his brain; needs to pour back
Some shit to fill some of it in; devise
Some braking mechanism, slow the pace
Of bird thought in his head, pull off the track
Fri 5 Sep 2008
731 - An English driver foresees his fine
Oh Officer, I obviously forgot
To buy a new tax disc at August's end
You're right to be sarcastic - I'm a clot
I do have ready funds that I can spend
But when the reminder letter was sent
The glove compartment of my car is where
I unaccountably placed it, since when
I clean forgot that it was lying there
Under a pile of CDs. To repair
This damage to my image, please say what
I should do now to avoid a fine? Lend
Me your precious time and wisdom, please sir
Be nice to this poor citizen who's not
A lawbreaker, at least not in intent
Thur 4 Sep 2008
To buy a new tax disc at August's end
You're right to be sarcastic - I'm a clot
I do have ready funds that I can spend
But when the reminder letter was sent
The glove compartment of my car is where
I unaccountably placed it, since when
I clean forgot that it was lying there
Under a pile of CDs. To repair
This damage to my image, please say what
I should do now to avoid a fine? Lend
Me your precious time and wisdom, please sir
Be nice to this poor citizen who's not
A lawbreaker, at least not in intent
Thur 4 Sep 2008
730 - Summer's end
Well I can now officially declare
That was the worst summer I’ve ever known
Very few sunny days, no chance to wear
Your summer gear, unless, of course, you’ve flown
Abroad this year. The rain’s fallen, wind’s blown
Last night I got drenched while out buying beer
Today is too cold to walk into town
Tomorrow it seems like I’ll have to wear
An autumn jacket. But, though skies aren’t clear
Stiff upper lip, folks, and never despair
Bad weather keeps us in, keeps us alone
Stops us from spending (except on a beer)
Credit crunch cutbacks; we’ve got to take care
To reduce debts and not take out more loans
Wed 3 Sep 2008
That was the worst summer I’ve ever known
Very few sunny days, no chance to wear
Your summer gear, unless, of course, you’ve flown
Abroad this year. The rain’s fallen, wind’s blown
Last night I got drenched while out buying beer
Today is too cold to walk into town
Tomorrow it seems like I’ll have to wear
An autumn jacket. But, though skies aren’t clear
Stiff upper lip, folks, and never despair
Bad weather keeps us in, keeps us alone
Stops us from spending (except on a beer)
Credit crunch cutbacks; we’ve got to take care
To reduce debts and not take out more loans
Wed 3 Sep 2008
729 - Upstairs, downstairs
I woke last night thinking, ‘It’s an earthquake!’
But then I relaxed momentarily
Realising the reason. ‘Ah, my bed shakes
Because of nocturnal activity
In the bedroom below. Though quietly
They go about their business; no moaning
Or yelping; conscious that all sounds can be
Heard above or below, and complaining
Would occur if they were both exclaiming;
Nevertheless, this couple’s great mistake,’
I continued to muse, most shakenly,
‘Is in their absent-minded neglecting
To shift their bed away from the wall. Make
A gap, and we can all sleep peacefully!’
Tue 2 Sep 2008
But then I relaxed momentarily
Realising the reason. ‘Ah, my bed shakes
Because of nocturnal activity
In the bedroom below. Though quietly
They go about their business; no moaning
Or yelping; conscious that all sounds can be
Heard above or below, and complaining
Would occur if they were both exclaiming;
Nevertheless, this couple’s great mistake,’
I continued to muse, most shakenly,
‘Is in their absent-minded neglecting
To shift their bed away from the wall. Make
A gap, and we can all sleep peacefully!’
Tue 2 Sep 2008
728 - See these DVDs, please
I borrowed DVDs from the library
Three nostalgic looks back at old music
The first was the Undertones in Derry
Views of the Bogside I saw in '06
The next was The Smiths, called 'The Complete Pic-
ture', mainly old clips from 'Top of the Pops'
Plus Derek Jarman's film, and fantastic
Shots of old Ordsall for 'Stop Me', with stops
For the cyclists, all with Mozza moptops
Strange ways they rode through Manchester city
And finally, three hours' worth of jazz flick
With footage of the Bird, the Duke, their flops
And triumphs: Jump for Joy, Ko-Ko, the free
Expression of genius and heretic
Mon 1 Sep 2008
Three nostalgic looks back at old music
The first was the Undertones in Derry
Views of the Bogside I saw in '06
The next was The Smiths, called 'The Complete Pic-
ture', mainly old clips from 'Top of the Pops'
Plus Derek Jarman's film, and fantastic
Shots of old Ordsall for 'Stop Me', with stops
For the cyclists, all with Mozza moptops
Strange ways they rode through Manchester city
And finally, three hours' worth of jazz flick
With footage of the Bird, the Duke, their flops
And triumphs: Jump for Joy, Ko-Ko, the free
Expression of genius and heretic
Mon 1 Sep 2008
727 - Remember '73
The World at War - remember ‘73
The Likely Lads came on before Pot Black
The Generation Game - good game, Brucie
Power cuts and candlelight, the latest track
Placed on the turntable by Tony Black-
burn. Burning oil became costly, thanks Sheikh
Yamani, now our money cost a pack-
et. Inflation, stagflation didn’t make
Too much impression on me; wide awake
Only after the News; stayed up to see
Jimmy Hill’s chin wag, Sunderland attack
Leeds in the Final, Shilton’s great mistake
Against Poland, ensuring Germany
In ‘74 wouldn’t let Bob Moore back
Sun 31 Aug 2008
The Likely Lads came on before Pot Black
The Generation Game - good game, Brucie
Power cuts and candlelight, the latest track
Placed on the turntable by Tony Black-
burn. Burning oil became costly, thanks Sheikh
Yamani, now our money cost a pack-
et. Inflation, stagflation didn’t make
Too much impression on me; wide awake
Only after the News; stayed up to see
Jimmy Hill’s chin wag, Sunderland attack
Leeds in the Final, Shilton’s great mistake
Against Poland, ensuring Germany
In ‘74 wouldn’t let Bob Moore back
Sun 31 Aug 2008
726 - In philanderer's fields
On foreign land you took my hand and then
We kissed for hours among the flowers of snow
I flew back home but knew, the facts were plain
I’d miss your land, your hand, but had to go
On foreign sand your dark hair hung down low
Adorned with flower, I scorned your powerful bloom
We sailed, homebound, no fire down below
I missed my chance of romancing your womb
On foreign train your sandy hair and soon
You’re standing there, careful to show the men
Here is your town, step down, forever go
I softly sigh as I send out this tune
Still you adorn a corner of Britain
Within my mind that’s foreign through and through
Sat 30 Aug 2008
We kissed for hours among the flowers of snow
I flew back home but knew, the facts were plain
I’d miss your land, your hand, but had to go
On foreign sand your dark hair hung down low
Adorned with flower, I scorned your powerful bloom
We sailed, homebound, no fire down below
I missed my chance of romancing your womb
On foreign train your sandy hair and soon
You’re standing there, careful to show the men
Here is your town, step down, forever go
I softly sigh as I send out this tune
Still you adorn a corner of Britain
Within my mind that’s foreign through and through
Sat 30 Aug 2008
725 - Feed the world, part thirty-three
Where do we go from here? What’s the next move?
Is socialism dead, too expensive?
We all know life is cheap, and that’s the truth
Money falls through it rather like a sieve
No, we don’t want to pay for them to live
Let them all die if they can’t feed themselves
Let babies cry as flies crawl, spiders weave
On faces in poor places; help ourselves
To cheap food from their land upon our shelves
And if it costs too much, we shall remove
The party we elected, though we give
A penny here and there out of our wealth
We’re good Samaritans, and there’s the proof
But there’s only so much that we can give
Fri 29 Aug 2008
Is socialism dead, too expensive?
We all know life is cheap, and that’s the truth
Money falls through it rather like a sieve
No, we don’t want to pay for them to live
Let them all die if they can’t feed themselves
Let babies cry as flies crawl, spiders weave
On faces in poor places; help ourselves
To cheap food from their land upon our shelves
And if it costs too much, we shall remove
The party we elected, though we give
A penny here and there out of our wealth
We’re good Samaritans, and there’s the proof
But there’s only so much that we can give
Fri 29 Aug 2008
724 - Kick out the jams
Why do I keep things, like old books I’ve read
And why on earth do I buy DVDs?
Why is throwing out clothes something I dread?
Nostalgia is a sign of mental freeze
It’s time to collect some new memories
An empty shelf is easier to dust
Consume and discard, move houses with ease
Use public transport; no car means no rust
The only thing that’s possibly a must
Is my computer (that’s my second head!)
With good speakers for playing loud CDs
I don’t even need money, I’m not fussed
So why would I need you when you’re half-dead
And half horror show? Let’s not be zombies
Thur 30 Aug 2008
And why on earth do I buy DVDs?
Why is throwing out clothes something I dread?
Nostalgia is a sign of mental freeze
It’s time to collect some new memories
An empty shelf is easier to dust
Consume and discard, move houses with ease
Use public transport; no car means no rust
The only thing that’s possibly a must
Is my computer (that’s my second head!)
With good speakers for playing loud CDs
I don’t even need money, I’m not fussed
So why would I need you when you’re half-dead
And half horror show? Let’s not be zombies
Thur 30 Aug 2008
723 - Donkey Derby
Surprisingly, Derby won their cup tie
Away at ‘mighty’ Preston, given that,
Under Paul Jewell, a year’s almost by
And he’s won no games in the league (the prat)
They beat Lincoln at home, last round, but at
Ninety minutes they were level. I’m sad
That we beat Preston; now that clueless fat
Manager may survive, although he’s had
More than enough defeats to prove he’s bad
At Bradford and Wigan, temporary
Success, but then it all clearly fell flat
Why did our new chairman feel that he had
The right to sack Billy Davies, oh why?
Since that day my club’s fallen down. Kersplat!
Wed 27 Aug 2008
Away at ‘mighty’ Preston, given that,
Under Paul Jewell, a year’s almost by
And he’s won no games in the league (the prat)
They beat Lincoln at home, last round, but at
Ninety minutes they were level. I’m sad
That we beat Preston; now that clueless fat
Manager may survive, although he’s had
More than enough defeats to prove he’s bad
At Bradford and Wigan, temporary
Success, but then it all clearly fell flat
Why did our new chairman feel that he had
The right to sack Billy Davies, oh why?
Since that day my club’s fallen down. Kersplat!
Wed 27 Aug 2008
722 - Battle of the red stripes
Enjoyed the weekend, writing lots of stuff
And also reading out my poetry
Although, if I’m honest, it would be tough
To call it poetry. It’s comedy
More often than not, and so it might be
That that is my direction. Time will tell.
Right now, my direction is southerly
Heading to the Georgian facades of Chel-
tenham, not for the horses but the thrill
Of Carling Cup action, more than enough
Goals likely, since visitors Stoke City
Beat Villa, and Cheltenham lost 4-0
To Oldham at the weekend. Stoke should stuff
The smalltown boys. And it won’t be pretty
Tue 26 Aug 2008
And also reading out my poetry
Although, if I’m honest, it would be tough
To call it poetry. It’s comedy
More often than not, and so it might be
That that is my direction. Time will tell.
Right now, my direction is southerly
Heading to the Georgian facades of Chel-
tenham, not for the horses but the thrill
Of Carling Cup action, more than enough
Goals likely, since visitors Stoke City
Beat Villa, and Cheltenham lost 4-0
To Oldham at the weekend. Stoke should stuff
The smalltown boys. And it won’t be pretty
Tue 26 Aug 2008
721 - The three-part coo of the dove
The dove sits in the tree, its three-part coo
Standing for peace in our symbolic lore
Drowned out by police sirens rushing to who
Knows where or why, peace out-shouted by war
The student sits with mates on crowded floor
Smoking the pipe to songs of love and peace
When he has bills to pay, his fate is sure
He’ll start siding more often with the police
The new politician, he seems so nice
He bills and coos, he sure knows how to woo
To wit, to win your sympathy and your
Vote. It’s done, he’s in the door; in a trice
The dove is hawk, the student Tory blue
The leader is feeding on guts and gore
Mon 25 Aug 2008
Standing for peace in our symbolic lore
Drowned out by police sirens rushing to who
Knows where or why, peace out-shouted by war
The student sits with mates on crowded floor
Smoking the pipe to songs of love and peace
When he has bills to pay, his fate is sure
He’ll start siding more often with the police
The new politician, he seems so nice
He bills and coos, he sure knows how to woo
To wit, to win your sympathy and your
Vote. It’s done, he’s in the door; in a trice
The dove is hawk, the student Tory blue
The leader is feeding on guts and gore
Mon 25 Aug 2008
720 - Manchester open-top bus tour
The lights are bright along the Curry Mile
No matter what time of night you go there
It’s quite a sight along the Curry Mile
You can’t rush home from Rusholme, Manchester
I’ve spent some strange days up at Cheetham Hill
In the shadow of Strangeways’ mosque-like tower
There’s no danger the taxman gets his fill
The Cheetham folk cheat him with all their power
If you dare, take the late 192 bus
From Piccadilly station to Longsight
Don’t stare at anyone, don’t make a fuss
That would be silly; they’re too strong to fight
This is Manchester in all its splendour
This is Manchester, serial offender
Sun 24 Aug 2008
No matter what time of night you go there
It’s quite a sight along the Curry Mile
You can’t rush home from Rusholme, Manchester
I’ve spent some strange days up at Cheetham Hill
In the shadow of Strangeways’ mosque-like tower
There’s no danger the taxman gets his fill
The Cheetham folk cheat him with all their power
If you dare, take the late 192 bus
From Piccadilly station to Longsight
Don’t stare at anyone, don’t make a fuss
That would be silly; they’re too strong to fight
This is Manchester in all its splendour
This is Manchester, serial offender
Sun 24 Aug 2008
719 - The flickering flame
A day of sport, of sorts, sat watching that
Best festival of testing from Beijing
Each vest the fastest, highest, strongest, sat
Watching that, though I ought to be writing.
The thought of writing’s biting and tugging
At me; we’re wrestling boxers, arms entwined
The red and blue vests, hot and cold, winning
And losing; to win gold, I’ve got to find
Some extra strength to last the length, unwind
The knot of memories till they lie flat
Like eight lanes under floodlights, me running
Between, relating, relaying; refined
Technique showing on replay, re-read, sat
Reading the dream book that I’m not writing
Sat 23 Aug 2008
Best festival of testing from Beijing
Each vest the fastest, highest, strongest, sat
Watching that, though I ought to be writing.
The thought of writing’s biting and tugging
At me; we’re wrestling boxers, arms entwined
The red and blue vests, hot and cold, winning
And losing; to win gold, I’ve got to find
Some extra strength to last the length, unwind
The knot of memories till they lie flat
Like eight lanes under floodlights, me running
Between, relating, relaying; refined
Technique showing on replay, re-read, sat
Reading the dream book that I’m not writing
Sat 23 Aug 2008
718 - Edible meditation
I’m tired, can’t think straight, can’t even drink straight
Thank goodness it’s Bank Holiday weekend
Will take it easy, dinner on my plate
Sat on the sofa, the TV my friend
Might play some music, give the strings a bend
Or tap the keys along to my CDs
I’ve got some DVDs the library lent
The opera ‘Peter Grimes’ is one of these
You see, I only slept five hours, so please
Don’t expect any poetry that’s great
My imagination cannot extend
Beyond deciding to eat fish and peas
Or maybe chicken burgers…Mmm, can’t wait
Until my kitchen café has opened
Fri 22 Aug 2008
Thank goodness it’s Bank Holiday weekend
Will take it easy, dinner on my plate
Sat on the sofa, the TV my friend
Might play some music, give the strings a bend
Or tap the keys along to my CDs
I’ve got some DVDs the library lent
The opera ‘Peter Grimes’ is one of these
You see, I only slept five hours, so please
Don’t expect any poetry that’s great
My imagination cannot extend
Beyond deciding to eat fish and peas
Or maybe chicken burgers…Mmm, can’t wait
Until my kitchen café has opened
Fri 22 Aug 2008
717 - Manchester City
Yes, cities seem to be necessities
We fit in these immensities, sardines
In our tin buses, trains, trams. Salford Quays
To Albert Square, please. Tins of human beans
All the same, indistinguishable. Deans-
gate, mustn’t be late, it’s nearly ten. Clock
Is ticking, Town Hall chimes, coffee beans, means
Another day’s work. Time’s gone when I’d mock
The race; the pace is hot, I’ve got to stock
Up on caffeine. The universities
Have been and gone with all their dons and deans
And I am one of their sons, their lost flock
The shocking costs, the mounting bills and fees
The billboards mock if you’ve not got the means
Thur 21 Aug 2008
We fit in these immensities, sardines
In our tin buses, trains, trams. Salford Quays
To Albert Square, please. Tins of human beans
All the same, indistinguishable. Deans-
gate, mustn’t be late, it’s nearly ten. Clock
Is ticking, Town Hall chimes, coffee beans, means
Another day’s work. Time’s gone when I’d mock
The race; the pace is hot, I’ve got to stock
Up on caffeine. The universities
Have been and gone with all their dons and deans
And I am one of their sons, their lost flock
The shocking costs, the mounting bills and fees
The billboards mock if you’ve not got the means
Thur 21 Aug 2008
716 - Magic bus
A double-decker bus ride into town
To Manchester Museum - have you been?
The Iron Age Lindow Man lay on the ground
One leg chopped off, the other one not seen
Sacrificed for society’s well-being
Then up one floor, Egyptian artefacts
A human skeleton, a climbing green
Chameleon, iguanas, tomato frogs
Then down again to the bones of T-Rex
And (dead) insects aplenty can be found
Took the bus back to Didsbury for beans
Sausages, chips, chicken curry, and next
To the park for a spin round and around
And then my daughter and me had ice cream
Wed 20 Aug 2008
To Manchester Museum - have you been?
The Iron Age Lindow Man lay on the ground
One leg chopped off, the other one not seen
Sacrificed for society’s well-being
Then up one floor, Egyptian artefacts
A human skeleton, a climbing green
Chameleon, iguanas, tomato frogs
Then down again to the bones of T-Rex
And (dead) insects aplenty can be found
Took the bus back to Didsbury for beans
Sausages, chips, chicken curry, and next
To the park for a spin round and around
And then my daughter and me had ice cream
Wed 20 Aug 2008
715 - Naughty boys
The Russian bear’s been growling once again
It still sees Georgia and the republics
That broke away as in its back garden
Putin, Medvedev et al use old tricks
Like Khrushchev and Hungary ’56
Like Brezhnev and Czechoslovakia
Remember Lech Walesa and his ships
Ceaucescu and wife in Romania
Remember him this way, Gary Glitter
Hello hello he’s coming back again
You don’t wanna touch him there (oh, those pics
They found when they mended his computer!)
The leader of the chain gang banged up when
He banged some underage Vietnamese chicks
Tue 19 Aug 2008
It still sees Georgia and the republics
That broke away as in its back garden
Putin, Medvedev et al use old tricks
Like Khrushchev and Hungary ’56
Like Brezhnev and Czechoslovakia
Remember Lech Walesa and his ships
Ceaucescu and wife in Romania
Remember him this way, Gary Glitter
Hello hello he’s coming back again
You don’t wanna touch him there (oh, those pics
They found when they mended his computer!)
The leader of the chain gang banged up when
He banged some underage Vietnamese chicks
Tue 19 Aug 2008
714 - Darwin, Dawkins and Dr Williams
Last week I read Darwin on holiday
While waiting for the others to awake
It was rather dry (the book, not the day)
But it was an effort I had to make
And now Richard Dawkins is trying to break
The hold of religion on school science
Campaigning hard for Darwin’s shocking take
That we are related to worms and hens
Which some schools daren’t stand by, in case offence
Is taken by ostriches, who when they
Hear hard, challenging truth, declare it fake
And say that science isn’t evidence
Dawkins is talkin’ to Canterbury
And Rowan’s goin’ to squirm like a snake
Mon 18 Aug 2008
While waiting for the others to awake
It was rather dry (the book, not the day)
But it was an effort I had to make
And now Richard Dawkins is trying to break
The hold of religion on school science
Campaigning hard for Darwin’s shocking take
That we are related to worms and hens
Which some schools daren’t stand by, in case offence
Is taken by ostriches, who when they
Hear hard, challenging truth, declare it fake
And say that science isn’t evidence
Dawkins is talkin’ to Canterbury
And Rowan’s goin’ to squirm like a snake
Mon 18 Aug 2008
713 - Can't fly the nest
The Olympics has invaded my mind
Like a strong drink or weed inhalation
I want and need to but can’t turn aside
I’ve seen too much golden information
It’s much more open now to all nations
Now drug cheats from the eastern bloc have gone
Remember the Russians and East Germans
No longer on the medal podium
Now talent allied to dedication
Can be enough. If your country’s behind
You with funding, then that celebration
Can be yours, can be ours as we look on
As I do now, as the athletes unwind
Around the bend of Bird’s Nest Stadium
Sun 17 Aug 2008
Like a strong drink or weed inhalation
I want and need to but can’t turn aside
I’ve seen too much golden information
It’s much more open now to all nations
Now drug cheats from the eastern bloc have gone
Remember the Russians and East Germans
No longer on the medal podium
Now talent allied to dedication
Can be enough. If your country’s behind
You with funding, then that celebration
Can be yours, can be ours as we look on
As I do now, as the athletes unwind
Around the bend of Bird’s Nest Stadium
Sun 17 Aug 2008
712 - Live from Norwich
The pressure was on. Getting to Norwich,
A town that seems as remote as the moon,
In time for the kick-off at three, for which
The tickets were bought, but not leaving soon
Enough. Through the busy Peaks, and through town
After town: Chesterfield, Mansfield, Newark,
Spalding, Sleaford, King’s Lynn; clock counting down,
Still fifty miles to go, and then to park,
Pick up the tickets. Time to run, not walk
Which we did, sitting down near to the pitch
As the ref blew the whistle; worries blown
Away, and we sat back and talked our talk
About football, starting our usual bitch
About the quality, or lack of, shown!
Sat 16 Aug 2008
A town that seems as remote as the moon,
In time for the kick-off at three, for which
The tickets were bought, but not leaving soon
Enough. Through the busy Peaks, and through town
After town: Chesterfield, Mansfield, Newark,
Spalding, Sleaford, King’s Lynn; clock counting down,
Still fifty miles to go, and then to park,
Pick up the tickets. Time to run, not walk
Which we did, sitting down near to the pitch
As the ref blew the whistle; worries blown
Away, and we sat back and talked our talk
About football, starting our usual bitch
About the quality, or lack of, shown!
Sat 16 Aug 2008
711 - Wheels on fire
Well done the British cyclists in Beijing
Their wheels on fire, rolling around the ’drome
It made for great live TV, sat watching
The Olympics unfold, off work, at home
Well done to Staff, Kenny and Hoy; that’s some
Achievement, beating the French team to gold
We’ve already done better in our sum
Total of golds than in some Games of old
Talking of which, I remember the Cold
War boycott of Moscow, with Wells winning
The hundred metres, Seb and Steve and Cram
Mary Peters in Munich, when tears rolled
Lasse Viren, and Cuban ‘White Lightning’
Ben Johnson sold his Seoul, the cheating bum!
Fri 15 Aug 2008
Their wheels on fire, rolling around the ’drome
It made for great live TV, sat watching
The Olympics unfold, off work, at home
Well done to Staff, Kenny and Hoy; that’s some
Achievement, beating the French team to gold
We’ve already done better in our sum
Total of golds than in some Games of old
Talking of which, I remember the Cold
War boycott of Moscow, with Wells winning
The hundred metres, Seb and Steve and Cram
Mary Peters in Munich, when tears rolled
Lasse Viren, and Cuban ‘White Lightning’
Ben Johnson sold his Seoul, the cheating bum!
Fri 15 Aug 2008
710 - Swimming with jellyfish
Must write this quick, last day of holiday
It’s ending a day early (argument)
Been a really pleasant warm sunny day
Down Kimmeridge Bay where me and daughter went
Looking for fish with a small net, backs bent
As we gingerly trod the rocks and weed
Portuguese men o’ war had just been sent
Into this bay and nearby ones, I read
In yesterday’s paper, so we agreed
Not to go swimming in the shimmering bay
Those toxic tentacles of bright blue meant
A boy went to hospital, sad indeed
When trying to enjoy his holiday
Like me, poisoned by stinging incident
Thur 14 Aug 2008
It’s ending a day early (argument)
Been a really pleasant warm sunny day
Down Kimmeridge Bay where me and daughter went
Looking for fish with a small net, backs bent
As we gingerly trod the rocks and weed
Portuguese men o’ war had just been sent
Into this bay and nearby ones, I read
In yesterday’s paper, so we agreed
Not to go swimming in the shimmering bay
Those toxic tentacles of bright blue meant
A boy went to hospital, sad indeed
When trying to enjoy his holiday
Like me, poisoned by stinging incident
Thur 14 Aug 2008
709 - Giant washout
Yesterday, sunshine, showers, sea and surf
Splashed in the open-air pool in the rain
Then Durdle Door and the cove at Lulworth
Stood on toe-splitting stones - Oh God, the pain! -
My daughter on my back, we played again
We waded into waves of deep blue-green
And drove and wove down dense green country lane
What a contrast to how today has been!
The driving rain meant we drove ourselves clean
Around the bend, our dreams brought down to earth
The rain from Dorset to Devon’s to blame
Cerne Abbas Giant, too wet to be seen
Likewise ‘white’ horse at Osmington, the turf
Green, the horse brown, its course drowned. Down the drain…
Wed 13 Aug 2008
Splashed in the open-air pool in the rain
Then Durdle Door and the cove at Lulworth
Stood on toe-splitting stones - Oh God, the pain! -
My daughter on my back, we played again
We waded into waves of deep blue-green
And drove and wove down dense green country lane
What a contrast to how today has been!
The driving rain meant we drove ourselves clean
Around the bend, our dreams brought down to earth
The rain from Dorset to Devon’s to blame
Cerne Abbas Giant, too wet to be seen
Likewise ‘white’ horse at Osmington, the turf
Green, the horse brown, its course drowned. Down the drain…
Wed 13 Aug 2008
708 - Rain rain don't go away
Sunshine and showers, from morning till night
Make pretty flowers, bright green blades of grass
The happy faces when the sun shines bright
The empty places when it rains at last
The summer’s nearly over, nearly past
We’re under the weather, we’re really sad
We’re flying far away, we’re spending fast
We’re lying there today, splendidly glad
We don’t like sunshine and showers, they’re bad
We only like sunshine, so that we might
Do nothing for two weeks… Hey, what a blast
Just lying on a beach, what fun we’ve had
No water needed, alcohol’s all right
Still, nature’s feeding on rainfall’s cool splash
Tue 12 Aug 2008
Make pretty flowers, bright green blades of grass
The happy faces when the sun shines bright
The empty places when it rains at last
The summer’s nearly over, nearly past
We’re under the weather, we’re really sad
We’re flying far away, we’re spending fast
We’re lying there today, splendidly glad
We don’t like sunshine and showers, they’re bad
We only like sunshine, so that we might
Do nothing for two weeks… Hey, what a blast
Just lying on a beach, what fun we’ve had
No water needed, alcohol’s all right
Still, nature’s feeding on rainfall’s cool splash
Tue 12 Aug 2008
707 - I want to go in the pool
Today we hardly got out of the car
Driving through Poole, through Sandbanks and Bournemouth
Then ever eastwards, motoring as far
As Lymington and Milford, a mere breath
Of sea breeze from those white cliffs out of reach
But as I see the Needles with lighthouse
I get needled and wheedled; that will teach
Me to drive so far. Quiet as a mouse
I took the ear-bashing, and just like Faust
Made a pact with the devil: the outdoor
Pool is tomorrow’s treat… I’ll catch my death
Of cold to keep li’l un happy. Showers
May fall on our heads as we splash, but our
Girl’s ambition will be met, sure enough!
Mon 11 Aug 2008
Driving through Poole, through Sandbanks and Bournemouth
Then ever eastwards, motoring as far
As Lymington and Milford, a mere breath
Of sea breeze from those white cliffs out of reach
But as I see the Needles with lighthouse
I get needled and wheedled; that will teach
Me to drive so far. Quiet as a mouse
I took the ear-bashing, and just like Faust
Made a pact with the devil: the outdoor
Pool is tomorrow’s treat… I’ll catch my death
Of cold to keep li’l un happy. Showers
May fall on our heads as we splash, but our
Girl’s ambition will be met, sure enough!
Mon 11 Aug 2008
706 - Camps, coasts and castles
We drove out of the caravan park fast
Or else I’d have to swim with my daughter
In the open-air pool, drowned out by blasts
Of cheesy pop from very loudspeakers
Hi-de-hi campers, hi-de-ho chavvers
Took the steam train to Swanage by the sea
But no cruise round the cliffs; the strong breezes
Meant boat rides cancelled. Try again Monday
Corfe Castle and its village, so pretty
The hilltop view lit by the sun at last
The green landscape, drunk on daily downpours
Stretched out, an endless quilt in front of me
The broken castle’s echoes of the past
Where now lies peace, once knee-deep in slaughter
Sun 10 Aug 2008
Or else I’d have to swim with my daughter
In the open-air pool, drowned out by blasts
Of cheesy pop from very loudspeakers
Hi-de-hi campers, hi-de-ho chavvers
Took the steam train to Swanage by the sea
But no cruise round the cliffs; the strong breezes
Meant boat rides cancelled. Try again Monday
Corfe Castle and its village, so pretty
The hilltop view lit by the sun at last
The green landscape, drunk on daily downpours
Stretched out, an endless quilt in front of me
The broken castle’s echoes of the past
Where now lies peace, once knee-deep in slaughter
Sun 10 Aug 2008
705 - Puddletown blues
Been raining constantly today, people
All walking round in raincoats and wellies
The roads to Poole and Bournemouth were all full
As far away as Dorchester with these
Forsaken four-by-fours bound for the sea-
Side paradise of southern English squall
In that direction we would find no peace
We cut through country lanes, Hardy and all
Past Tincleton and Bovington, to Wool
Past Wareham (walled town), then the road to Poole
Where I’m back down to the level of cheese
And traffic jam. Terrific. Why don’t all
These bad day-tripping tourists get the hell
Out of here? Sod off on a plane to Greece!
Sat 9 Aug 2008
All walking round in raincoats and wellies
The roads to Poole and Bournemouth were all full
As far away as Dorchester with these
Forsaken four-by-fours bound for the sea-
Side paradise of southern English squall
In that direction we would find no peace
We cut through country lanes, Hardy and all
Past Tincleton and Bovington, to Wool
Past Wareham (walled town), then the road to Poole
Where I’m back down to the level of cheese
And traffic jam. Terrific. Why don’t all
These bad day-tripping tourists get the hell
Out of here? Sod off on a plane to Greece!
Sat 9 Aug 2008
Saturday 29 January 2011
704 - Bad weather confirmed
This caravan park in Dorset’s not too good
It’s full of sunburned chavs with pierced ears
Descendants of pirates, they chill the blood
As they splodge in their chairs with chips and beers
Their spawn race round on bikes, teens smoke with peers
The swimming pools look okay when empty
But when they’re full of violent boys, my fear’s
That it won’t be safe. Might sail to Jersey
When weather picks up, Sunday or Monday
Tomorrow’s forecast? It looks like a flood
Tutankhamun’s in Dorchester, I hear
We could pop over for a chat and tea
Let’s tramp to Hardy’s cottage in the mud
Hoping this cloudy dampness disappears
Fri 8 Aug 2008
It’s full of sunburned chavs with pierced ears
Descendants of pirates, they chill the blood
As they splodge in their chairs with chips and beers
Their spawn race round on bikes, teens smoke with peers
The swimming pools look okay when empty
But when they’re full of violent boys, my fear’s
That it won’t be safe. Might sail to Jersey
When weather picks up, Sunday or Monday
Tomorrow’s forecast? It looks like a flood
Tutankhamun’s in Dorchester, I hear
We could pop over for a chat and tea
Let’s tramp to Hardy’s cottage in the mud
Hoping this cloudy dampness disappears
Fri 8 Aug 2008
703 - Bad weather warning
George Bush, you are a comedy genius
Thanks for that human rights speech in Thailand
But now you’re in China, there’ll be more fuss
About the pollution that’s out of hand
Handkerchief over mouth when in the stand
Watching the games, while in the marathon
Poor Paula Radcliffe’s run won’t go as planned
Because before that long long race is run
She’ll be choking, worse even than Athens
I’ll miss much of the games, but it’s no loss
Because I’ll be on holiday, the sand
And country scenery scene of my fun
And games, down in Dorset. All set; now just
Need to wave my old magic weather wand
Thur 7 Aug 2008
Thanks for that human rights speech in Thailand
But now you’re in China, there’ll be more fuss
About the pollution that’s out of hand
Handkerchief over mouth when in the stand
Watching the games, while in the marathon
Poor Paula Radcliffe’s run won’t go as planned
Because before that long long race is run
She’ll be choking, worse even than Athens
I’ll miss much of the games, but it’s no loss
Because I’ll be on holiday, the sand
And country scenery scene of my fun
And games, down in Dorset. All set; now just
Need to wave my old magic weather wand
Thur 7 Aug 2008
702 - Nectar of the gods
Hey everybody that shops in Sainsburys
Just get yourself an Amex Nectar card
Double Nectar points, it’s a real wheeze
Make sure you pay the balance off. Not hard
If you don’t spend more than you can afford
5000 Nectar points in 3 months - wow
That’s 50 quid, thanks to this credit card
I’ve paid the full balance online just now
2 months to go, and then they will allow
Me to spend 50 extra quid. No fees
As long as you pay on time. Don’t be tarred
With the brush of late payment. You must vow
To pay on time, online, and then you’ll seize
The profits in your mitts, reap the reward
Wed 6 Aug 2008
Just get yourself an Amex Nectar card
Double Nectar points, it’s a real wheeze
Make sure you pay the balance off. Not hard
If you don’t spend more than you can afford
5000 Nectar points in 3 months - wow
That’s 50 quid, thanks to this credit card
I’ve paid the full balance online just now
2 months to go, and then they will allow
Me to spend 50 extra quid. No fees
As long as you pay on time. Don’t be tarred
With the brush of late payment. You must vow
To pay on time, online, and then you’ll seize
The profits in your mitts, reap the reward
Wed 6 Aug 2008
701 - Beijing calling
Beijing Olympics, the world is watching
And nothing could be finer than being
In China in the morning smog, choking
Not too much joking going on, hoping
We’ll get the odd gold or two in Beijing
The smoking gun, the foggy smoggy ring
Of starting pistol, net monitoring
And not just in the hammer and sickling
But free speech and human rights restricting
That said, maybe it’s a bit nitpicking
To pick on Peking, peeking and seeking
To preach, when democracy’s weakening
In the west, which stayed best by bullying
The rest; now the great test is approaching
Tue 5 Aug 2008
And nothing could be finer than being
In China in the morning smog, choking
Not too much joking going on, hoping
We’ll get the odd gold or two in Beijing
The smoking gun, the foggy smoggy ring
Of starting pistol, net monitoring
And not just in the hammer and sickling
But free speech and human rights restricting
That said, maybe it’s a bit nitpicking
To pick on Peking, peeking and seeking
To preach, when democracy’s weakening
In the west, which stayed best by bullying
The rest; now the great test is approaching
Tue 5 Aug 2008
700 - Licensed to quill
James Bond reversed, not by some evil guy
Who ties him up, points a gun at his head
And then, inexplicably, lets him try
To escape, which he does; villain instead
Biting the dust soon after. No. I said
James Bond reversed, meaning by my good self
In using the number 700
Apparently, blogging’s good for the health
Publishing thoughts on a virtual bookshelf
Permits your internal conflict to fly
Somewhere out there where it is detected
Deflecting stress, defusing it by stealth
So I urge you, for your own sake, to try
It’s cheaper than the gym, James. So to bed
Mon 4 Aug 2008
Who ties him up, points a gun at his head
And then, inexplicably, lets him try
To escape, which he does; villain instead
Biting the dust soon after. No. I said
James Bond reversed, meaning by my good self
In using the number 700
Apparently, blogging’s good for the health
Publishing thoughts on a virtual bookshelf
Permits your internal conflict to fly
Somewhere out there where it is detected
Deflecting stress, defusing it by stealth
So I urge you, for your own sake, to try
It’s cheaper than the gym, James. So to bed
Mon 4 Aug 2008
699 - Stars stuck
Pictures of old film stars stuck on the wall
Smoking their cigarettes, scooting in Rome
Clipped eyebrows, padded shoulders, men looked tall
But weren’t; perfected in old monochrome
Monroe holding Yves Montand disc at home
Kath Hepburn wearing the trousers, and proud
Tousle-haired Marlon and James Dean in bloom
Marlene leaner, Greta better. How’d
They look today, now smoking’s not allowed
Now dressing-up’s not done; no dress at all
That wavy hair’s a no-no, so’s a comb
They’d find a way to stand out from the crowd
They’d find a way to make themselves seem tall
Acting out roles in life’s visual poem
Sun 3 Aug 2008
Smoking their cigarettes, scooting in Rome
Clipped eyebrows, padded shoulders, men looked tall
But weren’t; perfected in old monochrome
Monroe holding Yves Montand disc at home
Kath Hepburn wearing the trousers, and proud
Tousle-haired Marlon and James Dean in bloom
Marlene leaner, Greta better. How’d
They look today, now smoking’s not allowed
Now dressing-up’s not done; no dress at all
That wavy hair’s a no-no, so’s a comb
They’d find a way to stand out from the crowd
They’d find a way to make themselves seem tall
Acting out roles in life’s visual poem
Sun 3 Aug 2008
698 - Late night alone in tasteless room
The black and white cat, having done its shit
Pads proudly, quietly, contentedly
Across the wooden floor and red carpet
To spend the night in the conservatory
The clock on the green wall tick-tocks loudly
The pink plant patterns on the sofa twist
The dark red diamond cushions clash direly
Crumbs on the carpet that the cat has missed
Colours and outer darkness as the mist
Of night descends to relentless clock beat
The cat creeps back in, maybe wants a pee
No - he’s choosing a different place to rest
A restless night for all. The fuse is lit
I don’t think things will work out happily
Sat 2 Aug 2008
Pads proudly, quietly, contentedly
Across the wooden floor and red carpet
To spend the night in the conservatory
The clock on the green wall tick-tocks loudly
The pink plant patterns on the sofa twist
The dark red diamond cushions clash direly
Crumbs on the carpet that the cat has missed
Colours and outer darkness as the mist
Of night descends to relentless clock beat
The cat creeps back in, maybe wants a pee
No - he’s choosing a different place to rest
A restless night for all. The fuse is lit
I don’t think things will work out happily
Sat 2 Aug 2008
697 - Stop that train
So tired. I hardly slept last night. Bottles
Of beer to blame, three before turning in
Which made me wee a lot, jimmy riddles
Heard all those poems in that collection
On CD, s’posed to bring oblivion
And usually does, but last night, no such luck
After Benjamin Zeph, masturbation
I should have tried pills, Schopenhauer’s book
The graveyard radio discussion stuck
For a whole hour on old steam trains, whistles
And rattling sound effects. Old steam engines
Just count ’em, shiny black sheep on a track
Three hours late - 4 am - my arrival’s
Announced at Sleepytown railway station
Fri 1 Aug 2008
Of beer to blame, three before turning in
Which made me wee a lot, jimmy riddles
Heard all those poems in that collection
On CD, s’posed to bring oblivion
And usually does, but last night, no such luck
After Benjamin Zeph, masturbation
I should have tried pills, Schopenhauer’s book
The graveyard radio discussion stuck
For a whole hour on old steam trains, whistles
And rattling sound effects. Old steam engines
Just count ’em, shiny black sheep on a track
Three hours late - 4 am - my arrival’s
Announced at Sleepytown railway station
Fri 1 Aug 2008
696 - Never rest
What shall I write tonight? I’ll think on it
And when I’ve had some thoughts I’ll let you know
But what I write must fit in a sonnet
As snugly as a booted foot in snow
Five feet, ten syllables per line, must flow
Or must it? I could stray off-piste, it’s true
Experiment, live dangerously, though
Like sonnets, I prefer to stay with you
Astonishingly, though our lips turn blue
It’s comforting and so I won’t shun it
Until all feeling’s gone, not just the glow
We felt at base camp when the climb was new
The view at this height, nearing the summit
Is some sight to behold, though cold winds blow
Thur 31 July 2008
And when I’ve had some thoughts I’ll let you know
But what I write must fit in a sonnet
As snugly as a booted foot in snow
Five feet, ten syllables per line, must flow
Or must it? I could stray off-piste, it’s true
Experiment, live dangerously, though
Like sonnets, I prefer to stay with you
Astonishingly, though our lips turn blue
It’s comforting and so I won’t shun it
Until all feeling’s gone, not just the glow
We felt at base camp when the climb was new
The view at this height, nearing the summit
Is some sight to behold, though cold winds blow
Thur 31 July 2008
695 - Nice and easy does it
The way to enjoy life’s to live for now
Live in the present, value what you’ve got
Make the best of your job, don’t crease your brow
Wishing you earned more, wishing it was hot
Relax and smile, don’t go chasing some pot
That doesn’t exist at the rainbow’s end
Peer pressure or consumer envy’s not
The key to happiness, the perfect blend
Do what you like and the adverts they send
For this and that will fade; the holy cow
Of competition is a rich man’s plot
We can all opt out of, and round the bend
The rat race disappears, and we can slow
To walking pace, see beauty in each spot
Wed 30 July 2008
Live in the present, value what you’ve got
Make the best of your job, don’t crease your brow
Wishing you earned more, wishing it was hot
Relax and smile, don’t go chasing some pot
That doesn’t exist at the rainbow’s end
Peer pressure or consumer envy’s not
The key to happiness, the perfect blend
Do what you like and the adverts they send
For this and that will fade; the holy cow
Of competition is a rich man’s plot
We can all opt out of, and round the bend
The rat race disappears, and we can slow
To walking pace, see beauty in each spot
Wed 30 July 2008
694 - Free trade. Yeah, right
World trade talks have collapsed in Geneva
Elections on the way in USA
And India, objections from China
All mean that fairness waits another day
So-called free trade principles still hold sway
Meaning the big guys price the small ones out
Of our markets, also ensuring they
Own the best foreign farms and mines. No doubt
Our leaders will throw foreign aid about
To compensate the poor third world farmer
Although as we know this may go astray
Into the pocket of some despot’s coat
As payment for allowing whatever
The big companies want to take away
Tue 29 July 2008
Elections on the way in USA
And India, objections from China
All mean that fairness waits another day
So-called free trade principles still hold sway
Meaning the big guys price the small ones out
Of our markets, also ensuring they
Own the best foreign farms and mines. No doubt
Our leaders will throw foreign aid about
To compensate the poor third world farmer
Although as we know this may go astray
Into the pocket of some despot’s coat
As payment for allowing whatever
The big companies want to take away
Tue 29 July 2008
693 - The pier disappears
The old Grand Pier at Weston is no more
That peerless western town is now pierless
The sands appear very much as before
But no more crested by white towers; a mess
Of blackened wood floats in the foam. Careless
Kids hunt for souvenirs, boats roam around
The wreck, surveyors strain necks to assess
The cost, now Weston’s lost its favourite ground
Old wooden walk, where sea breezes surround
Where fat old ladies, fat young mothers pour
More red sauce on their chips to match their chest
And shoulders; men show torsoes to the town
White into red, like people, the pier tore
Its skin to ashes in fiery flashes
Mon 28 July 2008
That peerless western town is now pierless
The sands appear very much as before
But no more crested by white towers; a mess
Of blackened wood floats in the foam. Careless
Kids hunt for souvenirs, boats roam around
The wreck, surveyors strain necks to assess
The cost, now Weston’s lost its favourite ground
Old wooden walk, where sea breezes surround
Where fat old ladies, fat young mothers pour
More red sauce on their chips to match their chest
And shoulders; men show torsoes to the town
White into red, like people, the pier tore
Its skin to ashes in fiery flashes
Mon 28 July 2008
692 - Schopenhauering
Read Schopenhauer while I was waiting
Intelligence just leads to suffering
Because we dwell on setbacks, all hoping
For better times, but life’s disappointing
Even when goals are reached, the joy’s fleeting
And as time marches on, health’s declining
Instead of living now, we’re just counting
The days and years down to the grim ending
While plants and animals are existing
Unconscious of their end or beginning
So that’s why the dolphin’s always grinning
If life was all pleasure, and pain missing
We’d need to hurt, to kill, to do something
To spice up dull existence, so boring
Sun 27 July 2008
Intelligence just leads to suffering
Because we dwell on setbacks, all hoping
For better times, but life’s disappointing
Even when goals are reached, the joy’s fleeting
And as time marches on, health’s declining
Instead of living now, we’re just counting
The days and years down to the grim ending
While plants and animals are existing
Unconscious of their end or beginning
So that’s why the dolphin’s always grinning
If life was all pleasure, and pain missing
We’d need to hurt, to kill, to do something
To spice up dull existence, so boring
Sun 27 July 2008
691 - Calmer about Obama
Barack Obama drama as we see
The man in Europe, visiting Gordon
Having already seen Blair previously
And afterwards meeting Dave Cameron
Prior to this, big rally in Berlin
And daring to hobnob with Nicolas
Sarkozy; cosying up to Frenchmen -
Whatever next? Meeting the ruling class
Preparing for power; change, but not fast
Above all, no threat to democracy
No radical wealth redistribution
Looking to future, aware of the past
Seeking to represent stability
And Anglo-American tradition
Sat 26 July 2008
The man in Europe, visiting Gordon
Having already seen Blair previously
And afterwards meeting Dave Cameron
Prior to this, big rally in Berlin
And daring to hobnob with Nicolas
Sarkozy; cosying up to Frenchmen -
Whatever next? Meeting the ruling class
Preparing for power; change, but not fast
Above all, no threat to democracy
No radical wealth redistribution
Looking to future, aware of the past
Seeking to represent stability
And Anglo-American tradition
Sat 26 July 2008
690 - In the name of Gord, go
Oh Gordon, you have really blown it now
You lost the Glasgow East by-election
One of the safest Labour seats, and how
The SNP is weakening Britain
Which you defended, since you’re a Scotsman
And you need Britain, for it justifies
Your tenure in Ten Downing Street, but ten
Years of Blair that you spent with bright green eyes
Are not to be enjoyed by you - surprise?
You flout your golden rules, borrow, somehow
Hoping to buy our votes, our affection
Like some dirty old man, but we are wise
To your transparent tricks; we will not bow
To your ego or your grand delusion
Fri 25 July 2008
You lost the Glasgow East by-election
One of the safest Labour seats, and how
The SNP is weakening Britain
Which you defended, since you’re a Scotsman
And you need Britain, for it justifies
Your tenure in Ten Downing Street, but ten
Years of Blair that you spent with bright green eyes
Are not to be enjoyed by you - surprise?
You flout your golden rules, borrow, somehow
Hoping to buy our votes, our affection
Like some dirty old man, but we are wise
To your transparent tricks; we will not bow
To your ego or your grand delusion
Fri 25 July 2008
689 - Fairground distraction
Refreshed by a cuppa after my wine
A change of MP3 selection too
Sat by the Trent in Newark, weather fine
These small delights perk us up, clean the view
Like windscreen wipers doing what they do
Except when they squeak; then they’re annoying
And my tea’s turned into an ambient brew
And all the new songs are too hard rocking
And no guarantee of this sun lasting
The pendulum swings both ways; we incline
With it, half-full, half-empty, never to
Know stillness till the big clock stops ticking
So grease the roller coaster one more time
And hold tight as the world spins around you
Thur 24 July 2008
A change of MP3 selection too
Sat by the Trent in Newark, weather fine
These small delights perk us up, clean the view
Like windscreen wipers doing what they do
Except when they squeak; then they’re annoying
And my tea’s turned into an ambient brew
And all the new songs are too hard rocking
And no guarantee of this sun lasting
The pendulum swings both ways; we incline
With it, half-full, half-empty, never to
Know stillness till the big clock stops ticking
So grease the roller coaster one more time
And hold tight as the world spins around you
Thur 24 July 2008
688 - Two wheels good
Not as easy as falling off a bike
Was teaching my girl to ride one today
Her knees and elbows padded, took a hike
To the park where the surface is okay
Firm dirt path shaded by a canopy
Of mature trees from the sun’s wilting heat
She tilted, wobbled, paused for several plays
On nearby swings and seesaw, to the beat
Of workmen on a distant roof. ‘Compete
With those two sisters, show off swing technique!’
She thought, all Machiavellianly,
Then we left them, went riding in the street
Or she did, with me guiding, wide awake
To traffic, parked cars, and health and safety
Wed 23 July 2008
Was teaching my girl to ride one today
Her knees and elbows padded, took a hike
To the park where the surface is okay
Firm dirt path shaded by a canopy
Of mature trees from the sun’s wilting heat
She tilted, wobbled, paused for several plays
On nearby swings and seesaw, to the beat
Of workmen on a distant roof. ‘Compete
With those two sisters, show off swing technique!’
She thought, all Machiavellianly,
Then we left them, went riding in the street
Or she did, with me guiding, wide awake
To traffic, parked cars, and health and safety
Wed 23 July 2008
687 - Two aspects of loneliness
The business meeting dealt with the business
The express train dealt with the journey home
Then comes the time that is, for some, hardest
How to pass time usefully on your own
The teenage wasteland where nothing was grown
The bitter, fruitless taste, the frittered age
Of youth descending in stages, outgrown
By useful truth unknown, useless knowledge
Acquired at home. But the time to engage
Approached; reproached by twin sex and success
Dragged out of bed, drugged, into new beds thrown
Alone no more, but still I turned the page
Sought company from books that cost me less
Than people; brought me peace in crowded home
Tue 22 July 2008
The express train dealt with the journey home
Then comes the time that is, for some, hardest
How to pass time usefully on your own
The teenage wasteland where nothing was grown
The bitter, fruitless taste, the frittered age
Of youth descending in stages, outgrown
By useful truth unknown, useless knowledge
Acquired at home. But the time to engage
Approached; reproached by twin sex and success
Dragged out of bed, drugged, into new beds thrown
Alone no more, but still I turned the page
Sought company from books that cost me less
Than people; brought me peace in crowded home
Tue 22 July 2008
686 - A flatful of dust
My sunlit screen’s all obscured by bright dust
Like blinding snowflakes frozen in mid-fall
The sun moves westwards as it always must
And now I’m finding that I can see all
As shadows mount the white screen and white wall
Goodbye sun, you’re no friend to thought process
You bring too much reality; you crawl
Into each dirty corner, dark recess
Training a spotlight on each filthy mess
Spilt food that’s hardened into yellow crust
In kitchen. Look at the floor in the hall
Such biodiversity. I’m impressed
Victorian-style cleaning maids, please just
Line up outside until you hear me call
Mon 21 July 2008
Like blinding snowflakes frozen in mid-fall
The sun moves westwards as it always must
And now I’m finding that I can see all
As shadows mount the white screen and white wall
Goodbye sun, you’re no friend to thought process
You bring too much reality; you crawl
Into each dirty corner, dark recess
Training a spotlight on each filthy mess
Spilt food that’s hardened into yellow crust
In kitchen. Look at the floor in the hall
Such biodiversity. I’m impressed
Victorian-style cleaning maids, please just
Line up outside until you hear me call
Mon 21 July 2008
685 - Barbecue blues
Been to a barbecue, now I’m so full
I’ve actually had to undo my belt
My bloated belly hurts; so regretful
About my gluttony. This sin was spelt
Out long ago, but resistance can melt
When faced with plates of burgers and chicken
And for the last few hours I have felt
The punishment with this pain that I’m in
Still, I suppose it’s not the worst such sin
I only hurt myself, not the people
Around me. As the rain began to pelt
We all had to shelter in the kitchen
Then, back outside, we shivered in each lull
Between brief sunny spells. But oh, this guilt…
Sun 20 July 2008
I’ve actually had to undo my belt
My bloated belly hurts; so regretful
About my gluttony. This sin was spelt
Out long ago, but resistance can melt
When faced with plates of burgers and chicken
And for the last few hours I have felt
The punishment with this pain that I’m in
Still, I suppose it’s not the worst such sin
I only hurt myself, not the people
Around me. As the rain began to pelt
We all had to shelter in the kitchen
Then, back outside, we shivered in each lull
Between brief sunny spells. But oh, this guilt…
Sun 20 July 2008
684 - Good day
I feel great, top of the world mama, yeah
This life can be good if you are selfish
Have had a really nice day; went to a
Chinese buffet with friends and filled my dish
And since then did some ironing, got pissed
And played electric guitar and keyboard
Undertones, Sweet, Sparks, Sabbath, Jim Webb. Missed
The chance to play much Brel; couldn’t afford
To risk playing after eleven, sword
Of Damocles stuff if you do that. The
Rules state you must be quiet then. I wish
I was in a detached house; then I could
Do what I like and play on. But, whinger
You can watch a DVD if you wish…
Sat 19 July 2008
This life can be good if you are selfish
Have had a really nice day; went to a
Chinese buffet with friends and filled my dish
And since then did some ironing, got pissed
And played electric guitar and keyboard
Undertones, Sweet, Sparks, Sabbath, Jim Webb. Missed
The chance to play much Brel; couldn’t afford
To risk playing after eleven, sword
Of Damocles stuff if you do that. The
Rules state you must be quiet then. I wish
I was in a detached house; then I could
Do what I like and play on. But, whinger
You can watch a DVD if you wish…
Sat 19 July 2008
683 - Fertile soil
I wonder whether feelings or a numb
Mere vegetable existence is best
A fish doesn’t fear the whale’s mouth that comes
Like the Grand Canyon to a faller’s rest
And does it matter once you pass the test
And spawn as you were meant? And anyway
Whether you do or don’t you’re just a guest
A machine with your plug pulled out one day
A seed that lands, takes root, is pulled away
Prematurely by hands of fate, the thumb
Down pointing to the soil that teems restless
A billion brown jaws await their payday
Denied for now, but patient and then some
Brainless, painless, and by us, unimpressed
Fri 18 July 2008
Mere vegetable existence is best
A fish doesn’t fear the whale’s mouth that comes
Like the Grand Canyon to a faller’s rest
And does it matter once you pass the test
And spawn as you were meant? And anyway
Whether you do or don’t you’re just a guest
A machine with your plug pulled out one day
A seed that lands, takes root, is pulled away
Prematurely by hands of fate, the thumb
Down pointing to the soil that teems restless
A billion brown jaws await their payday
Denied for now, but patient and then some
Brainless, painless, and by us, unimpressed
Fri 18 July 2008
682 - In the pink
My pink guitar, the new love of my life
I’ll stroke and stretch your strings with my fingers
My pick will pick you up just like a wife
On the threshold; let each long lick linger
My salmon pink star, electric singer
Accompany me when my feeble voice
Attempts a duet, plug in amp, tongue a
Hillman Imp to your flash Rock n Rolls Royce
I’ll never smash you, at least not by choice
No Pete Townshend treatment, trouble or strife
No setting alight, Hendrix-style singes
I’ll stay faithful, not just one of the boys
To you my axe that’s sharper than a knife
Clear as a bell pulled by expert ringers
Thur 17 July 2008
I’ll stroke and stretch your strings with my fingers
My pick will pick you up just like a wife
On the threshold; let each long lick linger
My salmon pink star, electric singer
Accompany me when my feeble voice
Attempts a duet, plug in amp, tongue a
Hillman Imp to your flash Rock n Rolls Royce
I’ll never smash you, at least not by choice
No Pete Townshend treatment, trouble or strife
No setting alight, Hendrix-style singes
I’ll stay faithful, not just one of the boys
To you my axe that’s sharper than a knife
Clear as a bell pulled by expert ringers
Thur 17 July 2008
681 - Sonnet workshop
This is an experimental sonnet
There’s nothing in my head so I’ll just write
Workshop-style, until something pops in it
Or maybe I’ll just write and write, not quite
Sure of what it’s about; finish in spite
Of nothing to say. A good game to play
Well here I am, halfway through; still no sight
Of any slight meaning. They get away
With this in other art forms, so I say
Why not in this one? Why not pit my wit
(That’s singular. Not ‘wits,’ I’m not that bright)
Against the lack of muse? When music plays
It’s mainly sound; the words just have to fit
Into the structure, like I’ve done tonight…
Wed 16 July 2008
There’s nothing in my head so I’ll just write
Workshop-style, until something pops in it
Or maybe I’ll just write and write, not quite
Sure of what it’s about; finish in spite
Of nothing to say. A good game to play
Well here I am, halfway through; still no sight
Of any slight meaning. They get away
With this in other art forms, so I say
Why not in this one? Why not pit my wit
(That’s singular. Not ‘wits,’ I’m not that bright)
Against the lack of muse? When music plays
It’s mainly sound; the words just have to fit
Into the structure, like I’ve done tonight…
Wed 16 July 2008
680 - The void
If there’s one thing we all try to avoid
And thinking is an obstacle to this
It is the contemplation of the void
More than the deadly dark and deep abyss
More than our partner’s final Judas kiss
More than the fires of hell Jesus will roam
Dante and Virgil’s literary bliss
Obliteration? More like cosy home
Seen Naples with Vesuvius’ vanished cone
Impervious to new life, life destroyed
Do we mourn our ancestors in the seas
Pre-Cambrian invertebrates in foam
Bubbling on grassless shores? Are they annoyed?
I doubt it, because ignorance is bliss
Tue 15 July 2008
And thinking is an obstacle to this
It is the contemplation of the void
More than the deadly dark and deep abyss
More than our partner’s final Judas kiss
More than the fires of hell Jesus will roam
Dante and Virgil’s literary bliss
Obliteration? More like cosy home
Seen Naples with Vesuvius’ vanished cone
Impervious to new life, life destroyed
Do we mourn our ancestors in the seas
Pre-Cambrian invertebrates in foam
Bubbling on grassless shores? Are they annoyed?
I doubt it, because ignorance is bliss
Tue 15 July 2008
679 - Rant number one
Another week at work, oh bloody hell
I’m a wage slave just like that Ronaldo
The millionaire that United won’t sell
Duck, Ronnie, when Fergie does the boot throw
Another week at work, bloody hell, no
At this rate I’ll be no Rockefeller
I have just bought a new umbrella though
Hey, get your hands off it, Uri Geller!
Another week at work, how to tell Her
Indoors there’s no pause on the old treadmill
So put our backs into it, round we go
Each week like some old song by Paul Weller
Another week at work, oh bloody hell
Please save me from this life of a saddo!
Mon 14 July 2008
I’m a wage slave just like that Ronaldo
The millionaire that United won’t sell
Duck, Ronnie, when Fergie does the boot throw
Another week at work, bloody hell, no
At this rate I’ll be no Rockefeller
I have just bought a new umbrella though
Hey, get your hands off it, Uri Geller!
Another week at work, how to tell Her
Indoors there’s no pause on the old treadmill
So put our backs into it, round we go
Each week like some old song by Paul Weller
Another week at work, oh bloody hell
Please save me from this life of a saddo!
Mon 14 July 2008
678 - Learning to dance
It's Sunday, ballet show day in Stockport
They're singing 'Summer Holiday,' dancing
In stripey bathing costumes like they're taught
And at 7.30 the show's starting
Meanwhile the summer school term is ending
The real summer holiday's nearly here
And we must have one, but not depending
On bank balance or whether skies are clear
Two cappucinos and crisps please, young sir
With four new summer tops chosen and bought
That make me look a young fashionable thing
Till they're out of date later on this year
And by these tricks are careless people caught
In debt from peer pressure, overspending
Sun 13 July 2008
They're singing 'Summer Holiday,' dancing
In stripey bathing costumes like they're taught
And at 7.30 the show's starting
Meanwhile the summer school term is ending
The real summer holiday's nearly here
And we must have one, but not depending
On bank balance or whether skies are clear
Two cappucinos and crisps please, young sir
With four new summer tops chosen and bought
That make me look a young fashionable thing
Till they're out of date later on this year
And by these tricks are careless people caught
In debt from peer pressure, overspending
Sun 13 July 2008
677 - Noises from above
Singing and clapping in her bed upstairs
My daughter, five, too excited for sleep
I think she's happy - I can hear the airs
From Mary Poppins, not counting of sheep
Hush! All is quiet now. Will slumber creep
Into her room to claim her soon? Surely
As darkness keeps falling from space so steep
Her shadowed face, her eyelids so heavy
Will slink like a black cat in jungle tree
Into the silence, into lofty lairs
Above the soil and grass, where night birds cheep
And gravity can't spoil, lovely and free
Necklaces strung with pearly moons, and stars
Sprinkled on cornflakes. Now it's safe to peep
Sat 12 July 2008
My daughter, five, too excited for sleep
I think she's happy - I can hear the airs
From Mary Poppins, not counting of sheep
Hush! All is quiet now. Will slumber creep
Into her room to claim her soon? Surely
As darkness keeps falling from space so steep
Her shadowed face, her eyelids so heavy
Will slink like a black cat in jungle tree
Into the silence, into lofty lairs
Above the soil and grass, where night birds cheep
And gravity can't spoil, lovely and free
Necklaces strung with pearly moons, and stars
Sprinkled on cornflakes. Now it's safe to peep
Sat 12 July 2008
676 - Between drinks
I was drunk but I’m almost sober now
And when I am I’ll pour another one
It’s fun to drink but you have got to know
When you should stop so you can get things done
And besides, being sober can be fun
You can do ironing and stuff like that
You can keep fit: cycle, go for a run
Talk to your mum, have showers, feed the cat
Play with your kid for hours, they’re no brat
Except when you’re too selfish to allow
Some time to make them smile. Weed the garden
Play music, read, make love or simply chat.
It sounds so easy but it’s too late now
For all those things, so pour another one
Fri 11 July 2008
And when I am I’ll pour another one
It’s fun to drink but you have got to know
When you should stop so you can get things done
And besides, being sober can be fun
You can do ironing and stuff like that
You can keep fit: cycle, go for a run
Talk to your mum, have showers, feed the cat
Play with your kid for hours, they’re no brat
Except when you’re too selfish to allow
Some time to make them smile. Weed the garden
Play music, read, make love or simply chat.
It sounds so easy but it’s too late now
For all those things, so pour another one
Fri 11 July 2008
675 - Food for sport
I’m a bean baker, been baking beans years
You’re a cream icer, both nice cool careers
I eat Marmite, but Ma might not, I fear
Reg eats his veg at tables very near
My brother scratches pork with a fork. Queer!
My mother eats a pizza. Mamma mia!
Green beans? I do a runner. My scene’s beer
Ketchup makes me retch up. Tomatoes? Bleuurrggh!
My daughter drinks water; that should be clear
My son, try some pineapple, try some pear
Beetroot is purple: popular, I hear
Toward healthy food, stealthily we steer
Don’t hoard wealth, you can afford to be freer
A smorgasbord of pub grub’s not too dear
Thur 10 July 2008
You’re a cream icer, both nice cool careers
I eat Marmite, but Ma might not, I fear
Reg eats his veg at tables very near
My brother scratches pork with a fork. Queer!
My mother eats a pizza. Mamma mia!
Green beans? I do a runner. My scene’s beer
Ketchup makes me retch up. Tomatoes? Bleuurrggh!
My daughter drinks water; that should be clear
My son, try some pineapple, try some pear
Beetroot is purple: popular, I hear
Toward healthy food, stealthily we steer
Don’t hoard wealth, you can afford to be freer
A smorgasbord of pub grub’s not too dear
Thur 10 July 2008
674 - Drowned rat
Before the rain fell down on me I looked
Okay but now my hair’s a little flat
Before the rain fell down on me and cooked
My goose, it was loose, now a welcome mat
Outside the rugby changing rooms shares that
Appearance with my barnet. Tarnished, wet
Bedraggled, straggling like spaghetti spat
From some drunk mouth, gone south and never ate
Before the rain fell down on me I met
You and your friends, but now tend my regret
As I let the drops fall and just get fucked
As bus stops call - Please shelter here! - no hat
Or even a hood would be good to get
Let all the rain fall down on me, crown struck
From head, hair stuck down, clownish, a drowned rat
Wed 9 July 2008
Okay but now my hair’s a little flat
Before the rain fell down on me and cooked
My goose, it was loose, now a welcome mat
Outside the rugby changing rooms shares that
Appearance with my barnet. Tarnished, wet
Bedraggled, straggling like spaghetti spat
From some drunk mouth, gone south and never ate
Before the rain fell down on me I met
You and your friends, but now tend my regret
As I let the drops fall and just get fucked
As bus stops call - Please shelter here! - no hat
Or even a hood would be good to get
Let all the rain fall down on me, crown struck
From head, hair stuck down, clownish, a drowned rat
Wed 9 July 2008
673 - Street scenes
On Manchester streets you can see it all
Sit with a coffee and observe the show
In Piccadilly Gardens have a ball
Then have another in Caffe Nero
There’s trams and tramps, there’s beggars (just say no)
There’s cloudy skies and drinks, there’s ciggie smoke
The rumbling thunder of buses that slow
And stop, raining people, so many folk
Some busy, others dizzy. Fizzy Coke
At café prices, with slices of cake
The business people on the make, the calls
Taken on mobiles, a child cries, we go
Those few miles home before we end up broke
Away from the hub of this urban sprawl
Away to suburbs where the pulse is slow
Tue 8 July 2008
Sit with a coffee and observe the show
In Piccadilly Gardens have a ball
Then have another in Caffe Nero
There’s trams and tramps, there’s beggars (just say no)
There’s cloudy skies and drinks, there’s ciggie smoke
The rumbling thunder of buses that slow
And stop, raining people, so many folk
Some busy, others dizzy. Fizzy Coke
At café prices, with slices of cake
The business people on the make, the calls
Taken on mobiles, a child cries, we go
Those few miles home before we end up broke
Away from the hub of this urban sprawl
Away to suburbs where the pulse is slow
Tue 8 July 2008
Sunday 23 January 2011
672 - Goldfishfinger
Two goldfish swimming round and round their bowl
Do they long for the lakes, rivers and seas?
Do they get on, or are they perhaps poles
Apart, two different personalities?
Would they like their own bowl one day, if fees
Are not too high, not too much interest due?
Or do they go with the flow, although these
Bowls don’t have flows, tides or that much to do?
Some people put pirate ships in there. Crew
On deck! Swim to attention! One just rolls
Upside down all day long; the fat one. He’s
Fed up, maybe, with his lot, trying to
End it all. The small one’s a happy soul.
Two goldfish, living out their lives of ease.
Mon 7 July 2008
Do they long for the lakes, rivers and seas?
Do they get on, or are they perhaps poles
Apart, two different personalities?
Would they like their own bowl one day, if fees
Are not too high, not too much interest due?
Or do they go with the flow, although these
Bowls don’t have flows, tides or that much to do?
Some people put pirate ships in there. Crew
On deck! Swim to attention! One just rolls
Upside down all day long; the fat one. He’s
Fed up, maybe, with his lot, trying to
End it all. The small one’s a happy soul.
Two goldfish, living out their lives of ease.
Mon 7 July 2008
671 - Not so sunny Sunday
It took me an hour to wake up today
I listened to the radio, drifting
The London murders, tennis, I think they
Were the main topics they were discussing
The crack in the curtain was revealing
A gloomy sky, a grey day for the show
In Wilmslow; will we go, or will swimming
Take its place (indoors, of course)? I’ll soon know.
My trunks and towel await, as does Jo
Whose first year at school’s almost done - hurray!
Not only coz she’s gradually growing
But also coz her teacher’s been a cow
Later on we’ll see Anita and Ray
For Sunday chat, snacks and coffee-drinking
Sun 6 July 2008
I listened to the radio, drifting
The London murders, tennis, I think they
Were the main topics they were discussing
The crack in the curtain was revealing
A gloomy sky, a grey day for the show
In Wilmslow; will we go, or will swimming
Take its place (indoors, of course)? I’ll soon know.
My trunks and towel await, as does Jo
Whose first year at school’s almost done - hurray!
Not only coz she’s gradually growing
But also coz her teacher’s been a cow
Later on we’ll see Anita and Ray
For Sunday chat, snacks and coffee-drinking
Sun 6 July 2008
670 - Doctor, my eyes
My eyes, my eyes are aching, oh Doctor
I’ve spent too long staring at this small screen
Not the TV, I mean the computer
And Dr Who’s on later (where’ve you been,
Didn’t you know?) Although I haven’t seen
The series so far, he could be about
To regenerate, whatever that means.
Meanwhile, Serena lost to Venus. Out!
Cried the umpire; Serena gave a pout
But quickly smiled for the sake of sister
And mama sitting watching. Now I’m keen
To eat some food, or else I might pass out
I neglected that need and drank beer
Now I must stear clear of this little screen
Sat 5 July 2008
I’ve spent too long staring at this small screen
Not the TV, I mean the computer
And Dr Who’s on later (where’ve you been,
Didn’t you know?) Although I haven’t seen
The series so far, he could be about
To regenerate, whatever that means.
Meanwhile, Serena lost to Venus. Out!
Cried the umpire; Serena gave a pout
But quickly smiled for the sake of sister
And mama sitting watching. Now I’m keen
To eat some food, or else I might pass out
I neglected that need and drank beer
Now I must stear clear of this little screen
Sat 5 July 2008
669 - Freedom's yoke
Fourth of July, old anniversary
Of independence from the British rule
With similar feelings in Zimbabwe
Yes, colonisation it sure ain’t cool
But freedom brings responsibility
The kind that we all face when leaving school
When left to ourselves we can’t always see
What our next move should be, and can be fooled
By short-term gain, paid for expensively
In later years, as long-term debt accrual
Devours that freedom, causes enmity
And hardship, civil war, long-running duel
Between future wealth and immediacy
Yes, freedom often is a tarnished jewel
Fri 4 July 2008
Of independence from the British rule
With similar feelings in Zimbabwe
Yes, colonisation it sure ain’t cool
But freedom brings responsibility
The kind that we all face when leaving school
When left to ourselves we can’t always see
What our next move should be, and can be fooled
By short-term gain, paid for expensively
In later years, as long-term debt accrual
Devours that freedom, causes enmity
And hardship, civil war, long-running duel
Between future wealth and immediacy
Yes, freedom often is a tarnished jewel
Fri 4 July 2008
668 - The NHS at sixty
The NHS is now 60 years old
Is it as sick as many of that age
Who flick through mags in waiting rooms, the cold
Viruses transferred from fingers to page?
Will it reach 100? Then let’s engage
The questions of funding, and immigrants
Who do the jobs we won’t, yet still enrage
The locals and the tabloids. But who wants
Those jobs, and who’ll pay tax when we’re advanced
In age, if we don’t? Or should it be sold
Once lack of tax money and lack of wage
Condemns the NHS to remembrance?
Will pensions and healthcare then be controlled
For profit, and the poor disadvantaged?
Thur 3 July 2008
Is it as sick as many of that age
Who flick through mags in waiting rooms, the cold
Viruses transferred from fingers to page?
Will it reach 100? Then let’s engage
The questions of funding, and immigrants
Who do the jobs we won’t, yet still enrage
The locals and the tabloids. But who wants
Those jobs, and who’ll pay tax when we’re advanced
In age, if we don’t? Or should it be sold
Once lack of tax money and lack of wage
Condemns the NHS to remembrance?
Will pensions and healthcare then be controlled
For profit, and the poor disadvantaged?
Thur 3 July 2008
667 - Vigilantes
The vigilantes of normality
The self-appointed guardians of right
Control the streets and offices, you, me
And knife us in the back as we take flight
But worst of all is when we choose to fight
Then we are hunted down like some poor fox
Hounds salivating; orchestrating bites
Sound of conductor’s baton as it knocks
For silence before the whole building rocks
Sound of the judge’s gavel; the guilty
Hears sentence passed in whispers, out of sight
And must depart; the train waits on its tracks
For some gulag perhaps, or Coventry
The trial over, there’s no chance to see
The charge or build defence. So Kafka writes
Wed 2 July 2008
The self-appointed guardians of right
Control the streets and offices, you, me
And knife us in the back as we take flight
But worst of all is when we choose to fight
Then we are hunted down like some poor fox
Hounds salivating; orchestrating bites
Sound of conductor’s baton as it knocks
For silence before the whole building rocks
Sound of the judge’s gavel; the guilty
Hears sentence passed in whispers, out of sight
And must depart; the train waits on its tracks
For some gulag perhaps, or Coventry
The trial over, there’s no chance to see
The charge or build defence. So Kafka writes
Wed 2 July 2008
666 - The sonnet of the beast
The name of this beastly verse? 666!
That’s ‘six six six,’ you daft devil, not six
Hundred and sixty-six. Oh, take your pick;
Same thing, ain’t it? Saints hate it. John depicts
The beast at the time of apocalypse
Behaving badly, more than men. He flits
And flops about, putting us in a fix
Causing us to forget the crucifix
Which has some bad effects that almost nix
Our slim resurrectionary prospects
But never fear, fear God, read his edicts
In Biblical tracts, obey Benedict’s
Dictates and those of prelates; I predict
That by eternal flames you’ll not be licked
Tue 1 July 2008
That’s ‘six six six,’ you daft devil, not six
Hundred and sixty-six. Oh, take your pick;
Same thing, ain’t it? Saints hate it. John depicts
The beast at the time of apocalypse
Behaving badly, more than men. He flits
And flops about, putting us in a fix
Causing us to forget the crucifix
Which has some bad effects that almost nix
Our slim resurrectionary prospects
But never fear, fear God, read his edicts
In Biblical tracts, obey Benedict’s
Dictates and those of prelates; I predict
That by eternal flames you’ll not be licked
Tue 1 July 2008
665 - What I did today, hey
A sunny day hey hey a sunny day
A mummy day hey hey a mummy day
A sunny day a mummy day hey hey
Hey it was sunny saw my mummy hey
A funny day hey hey a funny day
A yummy day hey hey a yummy day
A funny day a yummy day hey hey
Hey it was funny and was yummy hey
The sun shone and I went to see mum, hey
We had some laughs and had a big lunch, hey
The sun always shines on motorways, hey
Can’t open window then, get damn hot, hey
A sunny mummy funny yummy day
Banoffee, coffee, sticky toffee, hey
Mon 30 June 2008
A mummy day hey hey a mummy day
A sunny day a mummy day hey hey
Hey it was sunny saw my mummy hey
A funny day hey hey a funny day
A yummy day hey hey a yummy day
A funny day a yummy day hey hey
Hey it was funny and was yummy hey
The sun shone and I went to see mum, hey
We had some laughs and had a big lunch, hey
The sun always shines on motorways, hey
Can’t open window then, get damn hot, hey
A sunny mummy funny yummy day
Banoffee, coffee, sticky toffee, hey
Mon 30 June 2008
664 - Rain in the arse
My clothes on radiators, window mist
The rain we hate but need spoils selfish fun
The floor a magnet for dirt, hair, food, dust
No wonder the flat sale’s gone flat; no-one
Wants that. Plates placed for lunch at half-past one
By her below. It’s not just me then, in
A gloomy box. This room of socks all hung
In to dry, before I get wet walking
To work in them next week. My poor leaking
Umbrella, I miss you. Since you were lost
Last week on that pub floor, I’ve been pissed on
Persistently, tubfuls poured, kitchen sinks
Cats, dogs keep falling on my head. Hood fixed
On my new black anorak - bring it on!
Sun 29 June 2008
The rain we hate but need spoils selfish fun
The floor a magnet for dirt, hair, food, dust
No wonder the flat sale’s gone flat; no-one
Wants that. Plates placed for lunch at half-past one
By her below. It’s not just me then, in
A gloomy box. This room of socks all hung
In to dry, before I get wet walking
To work in them next week. My poor leaking
Umbrella, I miss you. Since you were lost
Last week on that pub floor, I’ve been pissed on
Persistently, tubfuls poured, kitchen sinks
Cats, dogs keep falling on my head. Hood fixed
On my new black anorak - bring it on!
Sun 29 June 2008
663 - Alone
Alone in the house, all quiet except
The washing machine ending its cycle
And passing traffic. There’s only me left
They’ll be back soon. Till then what I write will
Pull unknown treasures from my deep psyche
Exposing exploring exploiting. Foes
Put to the mental sword - Blake meets Viking
Poetry that’s clever but more like prose
All rhyming and timing; how to oppose
This plague of indifference, how to reflect
Not what they want but my own wants, striking
A pose to make them all rise up in rows
A show of confidence people accept
Though swept off course by force from where they liked
Sat 28 June 2008
The washing machine ending its cycle
And passing traffic. There’s only me left
They’ll be back soon. Till then what I write will
Pull unknown treasures from my deep psyche
Exposing exploring exploiting. Foes
Put to the mental sword - Blake meets Viking
Poetry that’s clever but more like prose
All rhyming and timing; how to oppose
This plague of indifference, how to reflect
Not what they want but my own wants, striking
A pose to make them all rise up in rows
A show of confidence people accept
Though swept off course by force from where they liked
Sat 28 June 2008
662 - See Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela’s ninetieth birthday
Frank Lampard’s going to AC Milan
The pollen count is high, watch out for hay
Seeds falling down and out at Wimbledon
The school barbecue, burger-eating fun
A glass of wine or two, the rain eased off
And afterwards at home, some dancing done
Watched the Mandela concert - he looked rough
He shuffled on and off stage, aged, gruff
But everybody cheered him anyway
Perhaps they naively assume one man
Can really change the world, though not enough
In fact, apartheid had just had its day
But well done Nelson, applause for the man
Fri 27 June 2008
Frank Lampard’s going to AC Milan
The pollen count is high, watch out for hay
Seeds falling down and out at Wimbledon
The school barbecue, burger-eating fun
A glass of wine or two, the rain eased off
And afterwards at home, some dancing done
Watched the Mandela concert - he looked rough
He shuffled on and off stage, aged, gruff
But everybody cheered him anyway
Perhaps they naively assume one man
Can really change the world, though not enough
In fact, apartheid had just had its day
But well done Nelson, applause for the man
Fri 27 June 2008
661 - Giggin' in Wigan
Been giggin’ in Wigan, where to begin
A friggin’ long way but with cig in hand
Been diggin’ out some old and new writin’
Deliverin’ at the microphone stand
My memorisin’ went roughly as planned
But while some lines loomed big in memory
Some piggin’ slipped from view, they weren’t so grand
So swiggin’ on a beer and on coffee
I took my notes on stage, triggerin’ me
For me it was a big ’un, in Wigan
Began my set, though wet from rainfall, and
Got a big hand considerin’… My plea
Is guilty, I’m not big in this giggin’
Thing, but thanks Wigan, poetry and pie land
Thur 26 June 2008
A friggin’ long way but with cig in hand
Been diggin’ out some old and new writin’
Deliverin’ at the microphone stand
My memorisin’ went roughly as planned
But while some lines loomed big in memory
Some piggin’ slipped from view, they weren’t so grand
So swiggin’ on a beer and on coffee
I took my notes on stage, triggerin’ me
For me it was a big ’un, in Wigan
Began my set, though wet from rainfall, and
Got a big hand considerin’… My plea
Is guilty, I’m not big in this giggin’
Thing, but thanks Wigan, poetry and pie land
Thur 26 June 2008
660 - A simpleton's guide to Wimbledon
Been thinking of betting on Wimbledon
Made a few quid when I did this last year
Less shocks than in soccer’s European
Championship; dead sure with Federer
Nadal and co, not at all risky there
The Serbian ladies serve and hit volleys
Their title prospects are beyond compare
A little picture confirmed this to me
No Henman to cheer on, only Murray
And I’m sorry but he’s so very glum
Some will have won sets before sunset’s here
But the symbol of Wimbledon for me?
Gals and fellas hold umbrellas, while on
The Centre Court covers are brought. Nightmare
Wed 25 June 2008
Made a few quid when I did this last year
Less shocks than in soccer’s European
Championship; dead sure with Federer
Nadal and co, not at all risky there
The Serbian ladies serve and hit volleys
Their title prospects are beyond compare
A little picture confirmed this to me
No Henman to cheer on, only Murray
And I’m sorry but he’s so very glum
Some will have won sets before sunset’s here
But the symbol of Wimbledon for me?
Gals and fellas hold umbrellas, while on
The Centre Court covers are brought. Nightmare
Wed 25 June 2008
659 - No kidding
An update on my kids’ progress so far
My eldest daughter’s an Oxford student
Tonight we meet and eat down at Pizza
Express to chat before her summer’s spent
Au pairing in France; it seems she’s long meant
To live in Paris when she graduates
My son leaves school this month, and he’s intent
On studying film-making. He can’t wait
To move to London. He anticipates
Working in LA one day; screenwriter
His chosen trade. My youngest, she first went
To school last September; she’s doing great
So many parties; she’s so popular
Her arts and language skills are excellent
Tue 24 June 2008
My eldest daughter’s an Oxford student
Tonight we meet and eat down at Pizza
Express to chat before her summer’s spent
Au pairing in France; it seems she’s long meant
To live in Paris when she graduates
My son leaves school this month, and he’s intent
On studying film-making. He can’t wait
To move to London. He anticipates
Working in LA one day; screenwriter
His chosen trade. My youngest, she first went
To school last September; she’s doing great
So many parties; she’s so popular
Her arts and language skills are excellent
Tue 24 June 2008
658 - Mugabe shots
Mugabe mug shots fill the TV news
Mugabe thugs shoot to kill in village
Or beat them up with metal bars because
Inflation eats up money in rampage
And nation can’t afford bullets. Damage
Must be done on cheap. Gored gullets, hacked off
Limbs, acts of lust by sons out on forage
For things for their mums and siblings, real soft
Hearted Zimbabweans, family and stuff
The rest of them. Mugabe men abuse
Mugabe men eat well and they manage
MDC men go hungry, it is tough
But their fault for their angry nasty views
Mugabe mighty warrior, pay homage
Mon 23 June 2008
Mugabe thugs shoot to kill in village
Or beat them up with metal bars because
Inflation eats up money in rampage
And nation can’t afford bullets. Damage
Must be done on cheap. Gored gullets, hacked off
Limbs, acts of lust by sons out on forage
For things for their mums and siblings, real soft
Hearted Zimbabweans, family and stuff
The rest of them. Mugabe men abuse
Mugabe men eat well and they manage
MDC men go hungry, it is tough
But their fault for their angry nasty views
Mugabe mighty warrior, pay homage
Mon 23 June 2008
657 - Euro KO
Is anyone betting on the Euro’s?
(OK, I know there’s no apostrophe)
If you have been, you’ve got a bloody nose
What with surprise wins by Russia, Turkey
And tonight either Spain or Italy
Will join them in the quarters. Now don’t bet
Against Italy’s what would normally
Be said (or against Germany), but let’s
See if Spain can remain. The eastern set
Are so strong now, in Eurovision shows
At tennis, now football too. Putin, he’s
Been puttin’ something in their tea. Nyet, nyet
It’s just that they compete better, I s’pose
Our sport history’s short on victories
Sun 22 June 2008
(OK, I know there’s no apostrophe)
If you have been, you’ve got a bloody nose
What with surprise wins by Russia, Turkey
And tonight either Spain or Italy
Will join them in the quarters. Now don’t bet
Against Italy’s what would normally
Be said (or against Germany), but let’s
See if Spain can remain. The eastern set
Are so strong now, in Eurovision shows
At tennis, now football too. Putin, he’s
Been puttin’ something in their tea. Nyet, nyet
It’s just that they compete better, I s’pose
Our sport history’s short on victories
Sun 22 June 2008
656 - Estate agent blues in A flat
I can’t sell my flat, you can’t sell your house
Still stuck in Salford. That might sound like hell
To some maybe, but not me, coz I’m close
To my workplace. No, can’t afford petrol
These days, can we? So I did very well
To buy that flat, the one that I can’t sell
But the plan’s still to sell, and yours as well
And buy together a detached house. All
Well and good as a plan except the hell
Of driving into Manchester with those
Unfortunate others, all nose to tail
All paying the congestion charge as well
No, I can’t sell my flat but I suppose
I’ll save money each month that I don’t sell
Sat 21 June 2008
Still stuck in Salford. That might sound like hell
To some maybe, but not me, coz I’m close
To my workplace. No, can’t afford petrol
These days, can we? So I did very well
To buy that flat, the one that I can’t sell
But the plan’s still to sell, and yours as well
And buy together a detached house. All
Well and good as a plan except the hell
Of driving into Manchester with those
Unfortunate others, all nose to tail
All paying the congestion charge as well
No, I can’t sell my flat but I suppose
I’ll save money each month that I don’t sell
Sat 21 June 2008
655 - Roast Croatia
I’m winding down at the end of the week
When what do I see? Turkey / Croatia
The English players should watch this and weep
They couldn’t have equalised or won a
Penalty shoot-out under that pressure
Rustu the goalkeeper is a hero
He saved two out of three though his howler
Had only shortly before seemed to sow
The seeds of defeat, but in their last go
Turkey drew level. Feelings hit their peak
With fans of both sides in hysteria
The lottery of spot-kicks always so
Dramatic, heroes turning villain. Bleak
Evening for Croats. But for Turks… Hurrah!
Fri 20 June 2008
When what do I see? Turkey / Croatia
The English players should watch this and weep
They couldn’t have equalised or won a
Penalty shoot-out under that pressure
Rustu the goalkeeper is a hero
He saved two out of three though his howler
Had only shortly before seemed to sow
The seeds of defeat, but in their last go
Turkey drew level. Feelings hit their peak
With fans of both sides in hysteria
The lottery of spot-kicks always so
Dramatic, heroes turning villain. Bleak
Evening for Croats. But for Turks… Hurrah!
Fri 20 June 2008
654 - No fun
Another night when I stood up to speak
Though slightly pissed on Budvar and Theakstons
And now it’s Thursday night, another week
Of Question Time, and thank God the questions
Are questioning the Aghan war, where sons
And daughters are dying to protect what?
What is it that they’re blown up for by bombs
Planted at the roadside where they are not
Welcome, and where their blood will never clot
Ask Blair, ask Bush, ask God; don’t ask the weak
The poor, uneducated, trusting ones
Putting necks on the front line. Now I’ve got
To stop, because Germany really seek
To knock Portugal out. This isn’t fun.
Thur 19 June 2008
Though slightly pissed on Budvar and Theakstons
And now it’s Thursday night, another week
Of Question Time, and thank God the questions
Are questioning the Aghan war, where sons
And daughters are dying to protect what?
What is it that they’re blown up for by bombs
Planted at the roadside where they are not
Welcome, and where their blood will never clot
Ask Blair, ask Bush, ask God; don’t ask the weak
The poor, uneducated, trusting ones
Putting necks on the front line. Now I’ve got
To stop, because Germany really seek
To knock Portugal out. This isn’t fun.
Thur 19 June 2008
653 - Slammed
The slam went badly, oh, maybe I am
Not very good, not as good as those guys
Who have perfected their persona, bam!
It’s all an act, their persons in disguise
An act with funny voices and the eyes
Connecting with the drunk folk here and there
And if you’re northern, then it seems the prize
Is easier. What if you’re from nowhere
Then you don’t fit in. When you’re in the glare
And if you’ve not rehearsed, then you’ll be slammed
Never mind, it’s experience. I’m wise
After the event, the wit of the stair-
Case. Anyway, tomorrow night I am
Performing again, dodging custard pies.
Wed 18 June 2008
Not very good, not as good as those guys
Who have perfected their persona, bam!
It’s all an act, their persons in disguise
An act with funny voices and the eyes
Connecting with the drunk folk here and there
And if you’re northern, then it seems the prize
Is easier. What if you’re from nowhere
Then you don’t fit in. When you’re in the glare
And if you’ve not rehearsed, then you’ll be slammed
Never mind, it’s experience. I’m wise
After the event, the wit of the stair-
Case. Anyway, tomorrow night I am
Performing again, dodging custard pies.
Wed 18 June 2008
652 - Au revoir, mes amis
Oh dear. Poor old France. It’s all going wrong
Ever since Zinedine Zidane’s head-butt
They’ve been dans la merde, suddenly off-song
And now the Champs Elysee’s gates are shut
Sarkozy’s feeling dozy, in a rut
And Platini’s plateaued quite patently
The European Championship’s not got
The French in it much longer. C’est la vie.
Unless in the second half, like Turkey
The French find va va voom, and before long
The golden generation is kaput
La belle epoque is indeed history
But when the tolls of Notre Dame are rung
Les bleus will no longer have made the cut
Tue 17 June 2008
Ever since Zinedine Zidane’s head-butt
They’ve been dans la merde, suddenly off-song
And now the Champs Elysee’s gates are shut
Sarkozy’s feeling dozy, in a rut
And Platini’s plateaued quite patently
The European Championship’s not got
The French in it much longer. C’est la vie.
Unless in the second half, like Turkey
The French find va va voom, and before long
The golden generation is kaput
La belle epoque is indeed history
But when the tolls of Notre Dame are rung
Les bleus will no longer have made the cut
Tue 17 June 2008
651 - Scary library
Be wary in your local library
You never know who you might see in there
Some read the papers, and some seem to be
Sheltering from the rain, while some just stare
Don’t come too close, or come close if you dare
Their eyes summarising their lonely fear
Surprising you as you look everywhere
Around each corner, down each aisle. Ah, here
Are those ten year old videos. To clear,
Some dog-eared hardbacks and some scratched CDs
By Britney Spears and the soundtrack from ‘Hair’
DVDs on how to reduce your rear
Travel and war books, not much poetry
Make sure you book time on the computer
Mon 16 June 2008
You never know who you might see in there
Some read the papers, and some seem to be
Sheltering from the rain, while some just stare
Don’t come too close, or come close if you dare
Their eyes summarising their lonely fear
Surprising you as you look everywhere
Around each corner, down each aisle. Ah, here
Are those ten year old videos. To clear,
Some dog-eared hardbacks and some scratched CDs
By Britney Spears and the soundtrack from ‘Hair’
DVDs on how to reduce your rear
Travel and war books, not much poetry
Make sure you book time on the computer
Mon 16 June 2008
650 - Father's Day
It's Father's Day and farther from when they
First fought their way through watery tunnel
Finally caught head first feet last to say
Cough cough wah wah when slapped and wrapped in towel
Off to be weighed then the new made bundle
Is offered right away to dad to hold
That awful fright to think I might fumble
Or stumble then humble and glad. Arms fold
Under this wonder our two forms foretold
When they formed into one and thunder lay
With forked lightning electric storm cuddle
Connecting sudden showers of pure gold
This resurrecting power is today
Respected re-erected tearful
Sun 15 June 2008
First fought their way through watery tunnel
Finally caught head first feet last to say
Cough cough wah wah when slapped and wrapped in towel
Off to be weighed then the new made bundle
Is offered right away to dad to hold
That awful fright to think I might fumble
Or stumble then humble and glad. Arms fold
Under this wonder our two forms foretold
When they formed into one and thunder lay
With forked lightning electric storm cuddle
Connecting sudden showers of pure gold
This resurrecting power is today
Respected re-erected tearful
Sun 15 June 2008
649 - Scattered pictures
Old photos of me when I had more hair
Old photos of me when there were no lines
Old photos of me when I was thinner
Old photos of me and old cars old times
Time won't hold still when we are told sometimes
To keep still or to smile and then say cheese
Instead it's rushed blurred a pink finger shines
In a corner object obscured unease
Instead of pleasure is procured. Daddy's
Bald head was funny. I had hair to spare
While he despaired. One day sticks in our minds
The time he walked in with a wig on. He's
Got a wig on we whispered to Mother
A big black one. But no photo survives
Sat 14 June 2008
Old photos of me when there were no lines
Old photos of me when I was thinner
Old photos of me and old cars old times
Time won't hold still when we are told sometimes
To keep still or to smile and then say cheese
Instead it's rushed blurred a pink finger shines
In a corner object obscured unease
Instead of pleasure is procured. Daddy's
Bald head was funny. I had hair to spare
While he despaired. One day sticks in our minds
The time he walked in with a wig on. He's
Got a wig on we whispered to Mother
A big black one. But no photo survives
Sat 14 June 2008
648 - Perfect day
Like every other blogger in the world
Okay, not you, him or her, but the rest
The subject of this poem is foretold
By today’s date. Let’s put it to the test
Have bad things happened? No, it’s been the best
Day possible in the circumstances
Although for some nights now I’ve had no rest
And even not eaten (had no chances
Except for twelve scotch eggs for lunch), munches
Or lack of notwithstanding, I’m not sold
On the bad luck thing, and I’ll now attest
That Friday the thirteenths have no glitches
Or hitches hatching, and I’ll be so bold
As to declare them safe, touch wood, God bless
Fri 13 June 2008
Okay, not you, him or her, but the rest
The subject of this poem is foretold
By today’s date. Let’s put it to the test
Have bad things happened? No, it’s been the best
Day possible in the circumstances
Although for some nights now I’ve had no rest
And even not eaten (had no chances
Except for twelve scotch eggs for lunch), munches
Or lack of notwithstanding, I’m not sold
On the bad luck thing, and I’ll now attest
That Friday the thirteenths have no glitches
Or hitches hatching, and I’ll be so bold
As to declare them safe, touch wood, God bless
Fri 13 June 2008
647 - Frying tonight
Our Gordon’s deeper in the Brown than Pete
Doherty; he’s no druggie, no. His high
Is being in Number Ten, but his feat
Of ‘being there’ (like Pete Sellers) is by
Secret agreement, nod and wink of eye
Not by consent of you or I. U-turn
On ten per cent tax rate, fatal. Oh My
Not So Fair Lady, Maggie, wouldn’t burn
Cos she wouldn’t turn left or right. He’ll learn
That green Dave Cameron, still sucking teat
Still untainted by power, will deny
Gordon more on election day. Concern?
Not really. Spot the difference. The elite
Appeal only to big fish that they fry.
Thur 12 June 2008
Doherty; he’s no druggie, no. His high
Is being in Number Ten, but his feat
Of ‘being there’ (like Pete Sellers) is by
Secret agreement, nod and wink of eye
Not by consent of you or I. U-turn
On ten per cent tax rate, fatal. Oh My
Not So Fair Lady, Maggie, wouldn’t burn
Cos she wouldn’t turn left or right. He’ll learn
That green Dave Cameron, still sucking teat
Still untainted by power, will deny
Gordon more on election day. Concern?
Not really. Spot the difference. The elite
Appeal only to big fish that they fry.
Thur 12 June 2008
646 - Hey Atlas
I’m home from poetry group, it’s half-past ten
And guess what? I’ve this damn sonnet to write
Each day of my life I’ll have this burden
Like Atlas but not Jude, who wasn’t quite
As keen to keep the world at the same height
Sure, my shoulders ache and my back is bent
From daily duty, sonnetary weight
But shift that globe from side to side, invent
New positions for holding, heaven-sent
Chances to view American, Asian,
African landscapes underneath a white
Cloud cover, close up, clandestinely rent
By borders, orders, sordid deeds of men
Describe in fourteen lines, then rest the night
Wed 11 June 2008
And guess what? I’ve this damn sonnet to write
Each day of my life I’ll have this burden
Like Atlas but not Jude, who wasn’t quite
As keen to keep the world at the same height
Sure, my shoulders ache and my back is bent
From daily duty, sonnetary weight
But shift that globe from side to side, invent
New positions for holding, heaven-sent
Chances to view American, Asian,
African landscapes underneath a white
Cloud cover, close up, clandestinely rent
By borders, orders, sordid deeds of men
Describe in fourteen lines, then rest the night
Wed 11 June 2008
645 - Effervescent convalescent
With drug trials you get sleep deprivation
Uncomfortable strange bed, lights on early
As nurses pile in chatting, summation
Of what they did last night, or did you see
That programme? Yes, though I don't watch TV
As much these days. Awful what people do
If you point cameras at them. All agree
The price of everything's going up too
Quickly. The price of milk makes news, up two
Pence per litre. (So it's not just fuel then)
Writing this after lunch, I shall soon be
On a quest for a siesta. Need to
Recharge batteries if my intention
Of writing is to be reality
Tue 12 June 2008
Uncomfortable strange bed, lights on early
As nurses pile in chatting, summation
Of what they did last night, or did you see
That programme? Yes, though I don't watch TV
As much these days. Awful what people do
If you point cameras at them. All agree
The price of everything's going up too
Quickly. The price of milk makes news, up two
Pence per litre. (So it's not just fuel then)
Writing this after lunch, I shall soon be
On a quest for a siesta. Need to
Recharge batteries if my intention
Of writing is to be reality
Tue 12 June 2008
644 - Clinical sonnet
Surprisingly low pulse, she said. I'll tell
The doctor. He'll check that you can stay on
Of course, it doesn't mean that you're unwell
So don't worry. The doctor's been and gone
He quickly checked the charts, scanned up and down
Then wandered off seemingly quite content
I thought he'd look at me and with a frown
Tell me my time at the clinic was spent
And I'd have to go home. But being sent
Away with full pay from a drug trial
Is not so bad. In just two days, to earn
Six hundred quid and more's an efficient
Use of my time, reading poems as well
And writing... Waiting for inspiration...
Mon 9 June 2008
The doctor. He'll check that you can stay on
Of course, it doesn't mean that you're unwell
So don't worry. The doctor's been and gone
He quickly checked the charts, scanned up and down
Then wandered off seemingly quite content
I thought he'd look at me and with a frown
Tell me my time at the clinic was spent
And I'd have to go home. But being sent
Away with full pay from a drug trial
Is not so bad. In just two days, to earn
Six hundred quid and more's an efficient
Use of my time, reading poems as well
And writing... Waiting for inspiration...
Mon 9 June 2008
643 - Wilkommen Euro 2008
Euro 2008 has begun
In Austria and Switzerland - cuckoo!
There is no English representation
Who to support, then? Here's options for you:
Check out the Czechs, guys and chicks. Could go through
The Portuguese are sporty geezers. He's
Ronaldo, roasting Turkey. Poland blew
Their chance for revenge against Germany's
Invasions of their box. Next, Europe sees
France and Romania. Italy won
The World Cup, but can they win this one too?
Don't rush to bet on Russia. Greece? Oh please!
The Alpine snows are melted; summer sun
Shines down on them all. Enjoy it, won't you?!
Sun 8 June 2008
In Austria and Switzerland - cuckoo!
There is no English representation
Who to support, then? Here's options for you:
Check out the Czechs, guys and chicks. Could go through
The Portuguese are sporty geezers. He's
Ronaldo, roasting Turkey. Poland blew
Their chance for revenge against Germany's
Invasions of their box. Next, Europe sees
France and Romania. Italy won
The World Cup, but can they win this one too?
Don't rush to bet on Russia. Greece? Oh please!
The Alpine snows are melted; summer sun
Shines down on them all. Enjoy it, won't you?!
Sun 8 June 2008
642 - It may not be true
It may not be true that late evening thought
Must be more negative, be more haunting
Often at work or shopping I get caught
In reveries about life’s more daunting
Insolubilities, answers wanting
Human debilities both mine and yours
Assuming guilt, consuming calm, ranting
Inaudibly, Don Quixote on horse
Or Ford Fiesta on motorway, course
Set for maximum upset, fuel bought
At high cost, the long strange trip exhausting
My patience with fools who expect applause
When all they do or say falls sadly short
Of nobility’s reach, the gap yawning
Sat 7 June 2008
Must be more negative, be more haunting
Often at work or shopping I get caught
In reveries about life’s more daunting
Insolubilities, answers wanting
Human debilities both mine and yours
Assuming guilt, consuming calm, ranting
Inaudibly, Don Quixote on horse
Or Ford Fiesta on motorway, course
Set for maximum upset, fuel bought
At high cost, the long strange trip exhausting
My patience with fools who expect applause
When all they do or say falls sadly short
Of nobility’s reach, the gap yawning
Sat 7 June 2008
641 - Sky of blue and tea of green
I drink my green tea by day and red wine
Or beer by night, but in moderation
And if I avoid alcohol I find
The evenings bring me more inspiration
Today however I’m writing this down
At work, because it’s Friday, and then I
Can relax with a drink later, the sound
Of music replacing typing, the cry
Of guitar strings and not the anguished sigh
As I look at my inbox, write a line
Of poetry, then feel the frustration
As writer’s block hits and the clock ticks by
My tea’s all gone, the chocolate tasted fine
And I’ll walk home, now that this poem’s done
Fri 6 June 2008
Or beer by night, but in moderation
And if I avoid alcohol I find
The evenings bring me more inspiration
Today however I’m writing this down
At work, because it’s Friday, and then I
Can relax with a drink later, the sound
Of music replacing typing, the cry
Of guitar strings and not the anguished sigh
As I look at my inbox, write a line
Of poetry, then feel the frustration
As writer’s block hits and the clock ticks by
My tea’s all gone, the chocolate tasted fine
And I’ll walk home, now that this poem’s done
Fri 6 June 2008
640 - Attack at dawn
The morning light, and the first light of birth
Are they the inviting arms of a friend
Or the invading arms of Big Bertha
Firing her shells straight at our eyes; the end
Of all resistance. Curtains can’t defend
Against their speed and distance. Like trumpets
That call us on the day of doom, portend
Hell’s darkness falling soon, each sunray hits
The nerves like cannonballs hit walls, and its
Curtains for Fort Utopia, murder
Of innocent and not-so-innocent
The screams ring out as dreams are smashed to bits
And now our plight’s revealed, is it still worth
Our fighting on, or must we surrender?
Thur 5 June 2008
Are they the inviting arms of a friend
Or the invading arms of Big Bertha
Firing her shells straight at our eyes; the end
Of all resistance. Curtains can’t defend
Against their speed and distance. Like trumpets
That call us on the day of doom, portend
Hell’s darkness falling soon, each sunray hits
The nerves like cannonballs hit walls, and its
Curtains for Fort Utopia, murder
Of innocent and not-so-innocent
The screams ring out as dreams are smashed to bits
And now our plight’s revealed, is it still worth
Our fighting on, or must we surrender?
Thur 5 June 2008
639 - Doing bird
This thinking is a blessing and a curse
We imagine a lot that isn’t there
It’s okay when you’re writing, but it’s worse
At 3am, doing the ceiling stare
Revisiting, exaggerating their
Concerted coordinated campaign
To keep you on the ground, while in the air
Above you they float, laughing at your pain
They circle the lampshade, drive you insane
Angry, unable to sleep, you’re immersed
In negativity; meanwhile out there
The dawn chorus, the aubade, the refrain
Of unthinking bird brains begins its terse
Reminder there’s another day to bear
Wed 4 June 2008
We imagine a lot that isn’t there
It’s okay when you’re writing, but it’s worse
At 3am, doing the ceiling stare
Revisiting, exaggerating their
Concerted coordinated campaign
To keep you on the ground, while in the air
Above you they float, laughing at your pain
They circle the lampshade, drive you insane
Angry, unable to sleep, you’re immersed
In negativity; meanwhile out there
The dawn chorus, the aubade, the refrain
Of unthinking bird brains begins its terse
Reminder there’s another day to bear
Wed 4 June 2008
638 - One green bottle
I put down shopping bag to open door
And - quelle surprise! - the glass bottles topple
And crash against the unforgiving floor
Thank God there is no wine or beer puddle
Narrow escape again. It’s no riddle
Really, certainly no conspiracy
So why does my mind still grind and grapple
With forces that are imaginary
And all seem to be lined up against me?
Survival instinct kicking in? Though flawed
It keeps me on my toes, makes me brittle
The bottle is my soul, its expiry
Glimpsed as when lost at night-time on the moor
Or leaning over cliff edge, I stumble
Tue 3 June 2008
And - quelle surprise! - the glass bottles topple
And crash against the unforgiving floor
Thank God there is no wine or beer puddle
Narrow escape again. It’s no riddle
Really, certainly no conspiracy
So why does my mind still grind and grapple
With forces that are imaginary
And all seem to be lined up against me?
Survival instinct kicking in? Though flawed
It keeps me on my toes, makes me brittle
The bottle is my soul, its expiry
Glimpsed as when lost at night-time on the moor
Or leaning over cliff edge, I stumble
Tue 3 June 2008
Wednesday 12 January 2011
637 - Womb with a view
The pain of life climbs upward in a line
At forty-five degrees from left to right
Before conception everything is fine
Millennia make up one long peaceful night
That’s bare of nightmares, reality’s bite
Then some dick thinks with his, the jizz meets egg
And all that jazz; addicted to the fight
The hybrid parasite kicks out with leg
But when womb’s closing time is reached will beg
To stay dependent, waited on full-time
Sirens of prison, syringe, lines of white
Pickled liver, retiring to a dreg
Of mankind, call out: come to us, rewind
Retreat, relax behind the lines, that’s right
Mon 2 June 2008
At forty-five degrees from left to right
Before conception everything is fine
Millennia make up one long peaceful night
That’s bare of nightmares, reality’s bite
Then some dick thinks with his, the jizz meets egg
And all that jazz; addicted to the fight
The hybrid parasite kicks out with leg
But when womb’s closing time is reached will beg
To stay dependent, waited on full-time
Sirens of prison, syringe, lines of white
Pickled liver, retiring to a dreg
Of mankind, call out: come to us, rewind
Retreat, relax behind the lines, that’s right
Mon 2 June 2008
636 - Dark June
Oh hell, now June is here so soon it means
That soon it means to get darker again
Enjoy the last three weeks of increased beams
For then the orb we orbit turns just when
The light we worship seems a trusted friend
For its far distant frightening winter home
Growing shadows bestow their death kiss; end
Approaches in its dread red and white form
With frosty beard and funeral bells. Now comb
Your thinning hair and don’t forget sun cream
You mustn’t let your skin peel off. Back when
You were young you could burn and smoke and roam
But now stay safely home, avoiding scenes
Your oxygen, your lifeline, is your pen
Sun 1 June 2008
That soon it means to get darker again
Enjoy the last three weeks of increased beams
For then the orb we orbit turns just when
The light we worship seems a trusted friend
For its far distant frightening winter home
Growing shadows bestow their death kiss; end
Approaches in its dread red and white form
With frosty beard and funeral bells. Now comb
Your thinning hair and don’t forget sun cream
You mustn’t let your skin peel off. Back when
You were young you could burn and smoke and roam
But now stay safely home, avoiding scenes
Your oxygen, your lifeline, is your pen
Sun 1 June 2008
635 - The cloud garden
The cloud garden forbodes a thunderstorm
A reckoning for afternoon of sun
The birdsong quiets, a sense of alarm
And disappointment marks an end to fun
Four blackbirds suddenly fly formation
While solo magpie spies from aerial
Signalling that there’s nothing to be done
As dandelion seeds float by, wish well
An unseen thorn deflates the paddling pool
As I trim overgrowth that must be shorn
Through sheer necessity cut back Eden
Even my leg is cut, see my blood spill
It’s cooled further now; inside where it’s warm
We’re hedgehogs hibernating, TV on
Sat 31 May 2008
A reckoning for afternoon of sun
The birdsong quiets, a sense of alarm
And disappointment marks an end to fun
Four blackbirds suddenly fly formation
While solo magpie spies from aerial
Signalling that there’s nothing to be done
As dandelion seeds float by, wish well
An unseen thorn deflates the paddling pool
As I trim overgrowth that must be shorn
Through sheer necessity cut back Eden
Even my leg is cut, see my blood spill
It’s cooled further now; inside where it’s warm
We’re hedgehogs hibernating, TV on
Sat 31 May 2008
634 - Home thoughts from a bored
Ah, bliss! Off work, not missing the office
The morning time’s my prime time to do rhyme
I whizz along with song, I fizz, do biz
That’s mine, write sprightly lines in my own time
Sublime it is to climb where church bells chime
Bet Betjeman was no better, but a
Bit bitter, pint of bitter, hold the lime
That’s better, Betty Turpin, oh, and a
Hot plate of hotpot hits the spot. Totter
From pub tittle-tattle and grub and it’s
Cuthbert caught by the dibble, doing time
Look, Bert, you’re dribbling again, Alzheimer
Is dirty luck, no flirting here in this
Curtained care home, Dunroamin-under-Lyme
Fri 30 May 2008
The morning time’s my prime time to do rhyme
I whizz along with song, I fizz, do biz
That’s mine, write sprightly lines in my own time
Sublime it is to climb where church bells chime
Bet Betjeman was no better, but a
Bit bitter, pint of bitter, hold the lime
That’s better, Betty Turpin, oh, and a
Hot plate of hotpot hits the spot. Totter
From pub tittle-tattle and grub and it’s
Cuthbert caught by the dibble, doing time
Look, Bert, you’re dribbling again, Alzheimer
Is dirty luck, no flirting here in this
Curtained care home, Dunroamin-under-Lyme
Fri 30 May 2008
633 - I wonder will she?
I wonder will she like my new fragrance
My eau de toilette, oh let’s call it that
On the left hand, Paul Smith, the one I chanced
To buy; on the right, Joop, that I did not
Buy, but it’s strong, just how she likes it. What
A difference a spray makes, that’s what she’d say
If she was pretty witty, and quite hot
When it comes down to old ditties. As May
Becomes June, maybe soon there’ll be a ray
(Of sunshine, not of sting - oh, police!). Once
We kissed, but I’ve been missing her. My hat
Ain’t layin’ at her home. But yesterday
Even our sweat smelled sweet, and both our pants
Combined on floor, in bed, with cigarettes
Thur 29 May 2008
My eau de toilette, oh let’s call it that
On the left hand, Paul Smith, the one I chanced
To buy; on the right, Joop, that I did not
Buy, but it’s strong, just how she likes it. What
A difference a spray makes, that’s what she’d say
If she was pretty witty, and quite hot
When it comes down to old ditties. As May
Becomes June, maybe soon there’ll be a ray
(Of sunshine, not of sting - oh, police!). Once
We kissed, but I’ve been missing her. My hat
Ain’t layin’ at her home. But yesterday
Even our sweat smelled sweet, and both our pants
Combined on floor, in bed, with cigarettes
Thur 29 May 2008
632 - A mathematical problem
I’d love to tear your clothes off, oh my love
I’d dearly love to do it, oh my dear
I’d really love to gaze where legs are wove
Into the body above, long and clear
Nobody interrupts or interferes
Slowly erupting volcanic desire
Climbing the Mount of Venus and the pair
Of foothills further on with strawberry spires
This food for thoughts of love, music for lyre
I oughtn’t brood on, but can’t move on, love
Although I can’t move on you when we are
When we are two not one, you don’t require
Subtraction, multiplication, but div-
Ision, your decision that costs me dear
Wed 28 May 2008
I’d dearly love to do it, oh my dear
I’d really love to gaze where legs are wove
Into the body above, long and clear
Nobody interrupts or interferes
Slowly erupting volcanic desire
Climbing the Mount of Venus and the pair
Of foothills further on with strawberry spires
This food for thoughts of love, music for lyre
I oughtn’t brood on, but can’t move on, love
Although I can’t move on you when we are
When we are two not one, you don’t require
Subtraction, multiplication, but div-
Ision, your decision that costs me dear
Wed 28 May 2008
631 - A spoonful of Sugar
Tonight, on Snow TV, The Apprentice
Sir Alan, business mogul (he’s unique)
Who years ago sold shit Amstrad hi-fis
And what does he do now? He’s on each week
On a charade where he pretends to seek
An employee from big-head wannabes
Well surely he employs hundreds of meek
Mild-mannered merely average nobodies
If his business is that huge, and so, please
Spare us the bullshit. Of course, all this is
Is a cheap show like Big Brother with freaks
Who want to be famous briefly, the wheeze
That Warhol talked about in the sixties
And Bros sang about in their high-pitched squeak
Tue 27 May 2008
Sir Alan, business mogul (he’s unique)
Who years ago sold shit Amstrad hi-fis
And what does he do now? He’s on each week
On a charade where he pretends to seek
An employee from big-head wannabes
Well surely he employs hundreds of meek
Mild-mannered merely average nobodies
If his business is that huge, and so, please
Spare us the bullshit. Of course, all this is
Is a cheap show like Big Brother with freaks
Who want to be famous briefly, the wheeze
That Warhol talked about in the sixties
And Bros sang about in their high-pitched squeak
Tue 27 May 2008
630 - Did you see?
The aerial’s blown down, there’s no TV
The Jeremy Kyle Show was more like Snow
Thank goodness I watched United / Chelsea
Before these winds really started to blow
Now football’s finished, reception can go
And I don’t care. I’ll read or play music
Or go out, and the time won’t pass so slow
Who am I kidding? When the aerial’s fixed
I’ll relapse into TVaholic
Collapse into the sofa and watch Free-
View: Battlefields with Peter and Dan Snow
Or Question Time, see Labour take some stick
The music channels… Hey, but did you see
The Eurovision Song Contest? Oh no……….
Mon 26 May 2008
The Jeremy Kyle Show was more like Snow
Thank goodness I watched United / Chelsea
Before these winds really started to blow
Now football’s finished, reception can go
And I don’t care. I’ll read or play music
Or go out, and the time won’t pass so slow
Who am I kidding? When the aerial’s fixed
I’ll relapse into TVaholic
Collapse into the sofa and watch Free-
View: Battlefields with Peter and Dan Snow
Or Question Time, see Labour take some stick
The music channels… Hey, but did you see
The Eurovision Song Contest? Oh no……….
Mon 26 May 2008
629 - Thumb's down
My thumb’s been sore for more than two weeks. Why
I am not sure but it’s sure come to be
A stumbling block, fumbling whenever I
Use hands, mumbling, grumbling in agony
This sum total of thumping misery
Should be a rule of thumb, a digital
Denominator of numbness. Come, see
How glum I am without my thumb. It’s all
Just like Tom Thumb’s blues, losing it. Hassle
Is endless, fingers friendless, thundery sky
I wonder as I wander, somebody
Crawl underneath this rumbling tumbril
Pull me undone, unbecoming to die
Not done with strumming strings and swinging free
Sun 25 May 2008
I am not sure but it’s sure come to be
A stumbling block, fumbling whenever I
Use hands, mumbling, grumbling in agony
This sum total of thumping misery
Should be a rule of thumb, a digital
Denominator of numbness. Come, see
How glum I am without my thumb. It’s all
Just like Tom Thumb’s blues, losing it. Hassle
Is endless, fingers friendless, thundery sky
I wonder as I wander, somebody
Crawl underneath this rumbling tumbril
Pull me undone, unbecoming to die
Not done with strumming strings and swinging free
Sun 25 May 2008
628 - Sunny Saturday
A surprisingly sunny Saturday
Spent splishing splashing in a swimming pool
Stuffing sausages sat in some café
Skin slowly sizzling in the sun, such cool
Wind swishing swirling shaking shrubs so full
With spring and summer supplements of green
From seeds to shoots to stalks to stamens, all
Supplanting sad and shady winter scenes
The surefire supposition should, it seems
Suggest the sunshine shall subside by May
Shall turn sour, shower-soaked summer’s stern misrule
Submerging streets and smiles, suppressing dreams
So savour the sunshine and seize the day
Soon solid skies shall smear our shining jewel
Sat 24 May 2008
Spent splishing splashing in a swimming pool
Stuffing sausages sat in some café
Skin slowly sizzling in the sun, such cool
Wind swishing swirling shaking shrubs so full
With spring and summer supplements of green
From seeds to shoots to stalks to stamens, all
Supplanting sad and shady winter scenes
The surefire supposition should, it seems
Suggest the sunshine shall subside by May
Shall turn sour, shower-soaked summer’s stern misrule
Submerging streets and smiles, suppressing dreams
So savour the sunshine and seize the day
Soon solid skies shall smear our shining jewel
Sat 24 May 2008
627 - No smoke without desire
Update on my quitting smoking project
Last night a friend suggested that we share
A packet of ten, then went to collect
Another pack of twenty after there
Were none left in the first pack. And I swear
I didn’t want her to, but she gave me
The half-empty pack of twenty to bear
Homewards to finish off myself, ’cause she
Is also quitting with difficulty
Needless to say this had a bad effect
On my longing to give my lungs more air
And less tar. ‘No ta,’ I said, but sadly
Was too weak to resist or to reject
This devilish pact after so much beer
Fri 23 May 2008
Last night a friend suggested that we share
A packet of ten, then went to collect
Another pack of twenty after there
Were none left in the first pack. And I swear
I didn’t want her to, but she gave me
The half-empty pack of twenty to bear
Homewards to finish off myself, ’cause she
Is also quitting with difficulty
Needless to say this had a bad effect
On my longing to give my lungs more air
And less tar. ‘No ta,’ I said, but sadly
Was too weak to resist or to reject
This devilish pact after so much beer
Fri 23 May 2008
626 - Drinking song
Been drinking till the dying light of spring
Dictated that we headed home by train
Or bus, or in my case, just staggering
And here I am now, safely home again
My eyes are aching and my thoughts in vain
Try to roam poetically but fall short
Of anything that could, long-term, remain
To establish itself in western thought
But maybe that’s because I haven’t caught
Enough sleep. Consequently I’m struggling
To compose eloquently, and the same
Tired nonsense is all that my thoughts have brought
I must end now, early night beckoning
My bed is calling where I’ll soon be lain
Thur 22 May 2008
Dictated that we headed home by train
Or bus, or in my case, just staggering
And here I am now, safely home again
My eyes are aching and my thoughts in vain
Try to roam poetically but fall short
Of anything that could, long-term, remain
To establish itself in western thought
But maybe that’s because I haven’t caught
Enough sleep. Consequently I’m struggling
To compose eloquently, and the same
Tired nonsense is all that my thoughts have brought
I must end now, early night beckoning
My bed is calling where I’ll soon be lain
Thur 22 May 2008
625 - Reds take Moscow (again)
United European Champions
The Manchester Reds beat the Chelsea Blues
Only on penalties, but they’ve still won
Fifty years on from Munich’s deadly freeze
Forty years on from Wembley and Busby’s
Grown-ups, although still including a Kidd
And it’s all thanks to poor old John Terry’s
Penalty miss, and his rain-sodden skid
Frank Lampard struggles hard to keep a lid
On his disappointment, while Ferguson’s
All smiles, and in the studio Mark Hughes
And Andy Townsend comment, God forbid
And now it’s over till almost autumn
Enjoy the summer and the airport queues!
Wed 21 May 2008
The Manchester Reds beat the Chelsea Blues
Only on penalties, but they’ve still won
Fifty years on from Munich’s deadly freeze
Forty years on from Wembley and Busby’s
Grown-ups, although still including a Kidd
And it’s all thanks to poor old John Terry’s
Penalty miss, and his rain-sodden skid
Frank Lampard struggles hard to keep a lid
On his disappointment, while Ferguson’s
All smiles, and in the studio Mark Hughes
And Andy Townsend comment, God forbid
And now it’s over till almost autumn
Enjoy the summer and the airport queues!
Wed 21 May 2008
624 - Complete control
When stubbing out my last cigarette I
Broke the cracked ashtray I inherited
From my old tenants - a sign from on high
That it’s high time I quit this bad habit
Although I’m not religious maybe it
Is some vague universal consciousness
Transmitting a message just for me - quit!
Or is it all in my mind? Do I bless
Myself when I pray, hope, decide or guess
What’s best to do, and then when I apply
Myself to do it, do I have complete
Command and control to achieve success
Or just a mess? Responsibility
Of such magnitude’s often avoided
Tue 20 May 2008
Broke the cracked ashtray I inherited
From my old tenants - a sign from on high
That it’s high time I quit this bad habit
Although I’m not religious maybe it
Is some vague universal consciousness
Transmitting a message just for me - quit!
Or is it all in my mind? Do I bless
Myself when I pray, hope, decide or guess
What’s best to do, and then when I apply
Myself to do it, do I have complete
Command and control to achieve success
Or just a mess? Responsibility
Of such magnitude’s often avoided
Tue 20 May 2008
623 - Apathy
An apathy has struck into my brain
Something that most people will sometime feel
I even pondered retiring - not Spain! -
To spend more time on things that I have real
Interest in doing. But, of course, we all
Have families, and I must support mine
Realistically it would be a tall
Order to live on half my income, find
My way around without a car, trying
To buy or rent somewhere that’s cheap again
Like when I was a student, down at heel
Would I profitably use all my time
Or would apathy strike again, a chain
In a self-made prison tougher than steel?
Mon 19 May 2008
Something that most people will sometime feel
I even pondered retiring - not Spain! -
To spend more time on things that I have real
Interest in doing. But, of course, we all
Have families, and I must support mine
Realistically it would be a tall
Order to live on half my income, find
My way around without a car, trying
To buy or rent somewhere that’s cheap again
Like when I was a student, down at heel
Would I profitably use all my time
Or would apathy strike again, a chain
In a self-made prison tougher than steel?
Mon 19 May 2008
622 - Twenty-eight years
Twenty-eight years now since Ian C died
At only twenty-three, as depression
Took hold and slowly choked him. Suicide.
That great wordsmith, performer. His vision
Lives on; the music of Joy Division
Created a new order, new glamour
Showed northern could be arty, though that son
Of Salford, Tony Wilson, was much more
Hyperbolic as usual, saying these four
Young men transformed Manchester from a tired
Post-industrial wilderness. Modern
And gleaming now it stands (in places), more
Modern than Liverpool. Ha! (Local pride!)
Still, that old port has music of its own
Sun 18 May 2008
At only twenty-three, as depression
Took hold and slowly choked him. Suicide.
That great wordsmith, performer. His vision
Lives on; the music of Joy Division
Created a new order, new glamour
Showed northern could be arty, though that son
Of Salford, Tony Wilson, was much more
Hyperbolic as usual, saying these four
Young men transformed Manchester from a tired
Post-industrial wilderness. Modern
And gleaming now it stands (in places), more
Modern than Liverpool. Ha! (Local pride!)
Still, that old port has music of its own
Sun 18 May 2008
621 - Unnatural light
The late spring evening light a ghostly glow
The trees in full leaf a green Berlin Wall
Through the French door light turns into shadow
Created by the table, chairs and all
Such seasonal impressions can soon fall
Like autumn leaves, like reasons and like love
Someone walks in, depresses switch on wall
And harsh electric light glares from above
Scaring nature away with brutal shove
Boxing glove charm despatching those below
From momentary communion with it all
The real world, inhuman as it wove
Its invisible silk web we can’t know
Until deafened to evening TV’s call
Sat 17 May 2008
The trees in full leaf a green Berlin Wall
Through the French door light turns into shadow
Created by the table, chairs and all
Such seasonal impressions can soon fall
Like autumn leaves, like reasons and like love
Someone walks in, depresses switch on wall
And harsh electric light glares from above
Scaring nature away with brutal shove
Boxing glove charm despatching those below
From momentary communion with it all
The real world, inhuman as it wove
Its invisible silk web we can’t know
Until deafened to evening TV’s call
Sat 17 May 2008
620 - My wife
I love my wife, she is a great looker
The best-looking woman I’ve ever known
Trouble and strife maybe, but no hooker
She lives life honourably, all alone
When I’m not there, well, apart from our own
Lovely daughter. I love them both, these two
One big, one small but growing, and their home
Is sometimes tense but it’s always nice to
Visit, although I’ve other things to do.
But it’s back to my wife, a great looker
A great lover, fond memories all my own
She brought me great pleasure, and I her, too
Maybe those times will come back, or sucker
Am I, but she is so hard to disown
Fri 16 May 2008
The best-looking woman I’ve ever known
Trouble and strife maybe, but no hooker
She lives life honourably, all alone
When I’m not there, well, apart from our own
Lovely daughter. I love them both, these two
One big, one small but growing, and their home
Is sometimes tense but it’s always nice to
Visit, although I’ve other things to do.
But it’s back to my wife, a great looker
A great lover, fond memories all my own
She brought me great pleasure, and I her, too
Maybe those times will come back, or sucker
Am I, but she is so hard to disown
Fri 16 May 2008
619 - And I don't know it...
Been reading poetry, because I’m not
An expert in this field of literature
Or any field or meadow, come to that
I just express myself, simple and clear
If ordinary people have ears to hear
Then poetry can reach them, do its work
But if it’s too clever it can be mere
Elitism, pretentiousness; can shirk
Its duty to communicate; can lurk
In rarefied communities, a plot
Inhabited by haves, not have nots. You’re
Sure to want it to reach ordinary folk
Aren’t you? It’s not rocket science. The thought
Process of poets shouldn’t cause us fear
Thur 15 May 2008
An expert in this field of literature
Or any field or meadow, come to that
I just express myself, simple and clear
If ordinary people have ears to hear
Then poetry can reach them, do its work
But if it’s too clever it can be mere
Elitism, pretentiousness; can shirk
Its duty to communicate; can lurk
In rarefied communities, a plot
Inhabited by haves, not have nots. You’re
Sure to want it to reach ordinary folk
Aren’t you? It’s not rocket science. The thought
Process of poets shouldn’t cause us fear
Thur 15 May 2008
618 - De-Rangers
The Scots are in town for a football match
The sun is blazing down on their blue shirts
Their dehydrated town-centrewards march
Their somewhat spine-chilling mass vocal bursts
We've heard them all day from the office. Worse,
I'm planning on seeing a film in town
Near Albert Square, where a big screen alerts
The drunken throng to how it's going down
In the nearby Man City football ground
Meanwhile I'll be in a dark room to catch
The latest Joy Division movie, versed
Even more in doomy Manc folklore, found
Truth in the Cornerhouse, shadowplay watched
Then home to catch the match, glass of wine nursed
Wed 14 May 2008
The sun is blazing down on their blue shirts
Their dehydrated town-centrewards march
Their somewhat spine-chilling mass vocal bursts
We've heard them all day from the office. Worse,
I'm planning on seeing a film in town
Near Albert Square, where a big screen alerts
The drunken throng to how it's going down
In the nearby Man City football ground
Meanwhile I'll be in a dark room to catch
The latest Joy Division movie, versed
Even more in doomy Manc folklore, found
Truth in the Cornerhouse, shadowplay watched
Then home to catch the match, glass of wine nursed
Wed 14 May 2008
617 - Emperor's old clothes
Get your top off, get your top off honey
If u can’t stand the heat get outa the stitchin’
Just like me, they long to be clothing-free
Summertime, and it’s easy undressin’
I just want your extra time and your skin
I can see clearly now, your clothes have gone
My baby don’t care for clothes. I’m wishin’
On a starkers, because, fatty bum bum
I can’t wait till 9pm till I come
Bend me shape me, hit me once more baby
Cos when you’re smilin’ the sun comes shinin’
Through the rain, though my screams are tossed and blown
But then I should be so lucky, lucky
You and your clothes will keep on keepin’ on
Tue 13 May 2008
If u can’t stand the heat get outa the stitchin’
Just like me, they long to be clothing-free
Summertime, and it’s easy undressin’
I just want your extra time and your skin
I can see clearly now, your clothes have gone
My baby don’t care for clothes. I’m wishin’
On a starkers, because, fatty bum bum
I can’t wait till 9pm till I come
Bend me shape me, hit me once more baby
Cos when you’re smilin’ the sun comes shinin’
Through the rain, though my screams are tossed and blown
But then I should be so lucky, lucky
You and your clothes will keep on keepin’ on
Tue 13 May 2008
616 - One track mind
Travelled by train first class down to London
On the magnificent Pendolino
The train that bends and twists, a faster run
From north to south, but no coffee! Oh no!
Nothing to wet my mouth, not even though
It was so hot and I’d paid extra for
Those several cups that make you need to go
But make you seem important, that’s for sure
Apart from that I can’t think of a flaw
In the journey - well okay, maybe one
As usual the pretty girls were slow
To sit near me. A pity, but I saw
More in Trafalgar Square after I’d gone
To my meeting. Greetings girls, and hello!
Mon 12 May 2008
On the magnificent Pendolino
The train that bends and twists, a faster run
From north to south, but no coffee! Oh no!
Nothing to wet my mouth, not even though
It was so hot and I’d paid extra for
Those several cups that make you need to go
But make you seem important, that’s for sure
Apart from that I can’t think of a flaw
In the journey - well okay, maybe one
As usual the pretty girls were slow
To sit near me. A pity, but I saw
More in Trafalgar Square after I’d gone
To my meeting. Greetings girls, and hello!
Mon 12 May 2008
615 - The fun of the warmth
Spring sun, divine celestial orb on high
Oh bloody hell, am I sunburnt or what?
That’s typical British, to auto-fry
Soon as the sun comes out, coz diddly squat
Is what we usually get. It’s what we got
Last year, remember? Course you remember
That worst summer, that bummer, with a lot
Of floods and not much else. Hell, some summer.
So tops off lads while ye may, and simmer
Hey, look at those girls… oops! Nearly crashed. (Die
In agony caused by totty, tut tut…)
Of Californian glamour, a glimmer
I need to rest my happy tired eye,
And lie naked in double bed of sweat
Sun 11 May 2008
Oh bloody hell, am I sunburnt or what?
That’s typical British, to auto-fry
Soon as the sun comes out, coz diddly squat
Is what we usually get. It’s what we got
Last year, remember? Course you remember
That worst summer, that bummer, with a lot
Of floods and not much else. Hell, some summer.
So tops off lads while ye may, and simmer
Hey, look at those girls… oops! Nearly crashed. (Die
In agony caused by totty, tut tut…)
Of Californian glamour, a glimmer
I need to rest my happy tired eye,
And lie naked in double bed of sweat
Sun 11 May 2008
614 - Keys to happiness
I took the first chance this year to sunbathe
Beautiful warm sunshine and grassy smell
On the small lawn in the back garden. Breathe
In nature. Forget for now traffic’s hell
Mind you, I like driving and I drive well
A king behind the wheel, lord of the lane
The slow lane these days (saving on fuel
That’s now one pound seven p - what a pain!)
But I drove a hundred miles with no gain
This morning to my mum’s, so I could see the
Letters needing replies, but ‘Bloody hell,’
I thought, as I pulled up. ‘I have no brain!
I’ve forgotten the house key! But don’t seethe
Drive home, get keys, come back Sunday. All’s well.’
Sat 10 May 2008
Beautiful warm sunshine and grassy smell
On the small lawn in the back garden. Breathe
In nature. Forget for now traffic’s hell
Mind you, I like driving and I drive well
A king behind the wheel, lord of the lane
The slow lane these days (saving on fuel
That’s now one pound seven p - what a pain!)
But I drove a hundred miles with no gain
This morning to my mum’s, so I could see the
Letters needing replies, but ‘Bloody hell,’
I thought, as I pulled up. ‘I have no brain!
I’ve forgotten the house key! But don’t seethe
Drive home, get keys, come back Sunday. All’s well.’
Sat 10 May 2008
613 - The office
Sat in the office, and what can I see?
Here in the office, with my cup of tea
Here in the office, they are all friendly
Sat in the office, trying to keep busy
Stuck in the office, outside it's sunny
Here in the office, it's hot and gloomy
Here in the office, the phone rings for me
Stuck in the office, can't write poetry
I hate the office, it's no comedy
Here in the office, the clock's cruelty
Here in the office, boredom factory
I hate the office, its hierarchy
Can't leave the office, there's many like me
Can’t leave the office, not till we’re sixty
Fri 9 May 2008
Here in the office, with my cup of tea
Here in the office, they are all friendly
Sat in the office, trying to keep busy
Stuck in the office, outside it's sunny
Here in the office, it's hot and gloomy
Here in the office, the phone rings for me
Stuck in the office, can't write poetry
I hate the office, it's no comedy
Here in the office, the clock's cruelty
Here in the office, boredom factory
I hate the office, its hierarchy
Can't leave the office, there's many like me
Can’t leave the office, not till we’re sixty
Fri 9 May 2008
612 - Biofuel for thought
We had to reduce carbon emissions,
So Brussels told the EU we must use
More biofuel. The Americans
With their huge cornfields, how could they refuse
Al Gore’s warnings? Also, how to defuse
The terrorist bomb by not buying oil
From the Middle East? There’s no need for clues:
Of course they’d grow a feast of biofuel.
This all seemed great to westerners, but cruel
To the rest, the starvers. Millions of tons
Of harvested grain that their plates would lose,
Their fates again decided by our loyal
Leaders, chasing votes and obeying friends
In government and business. Hardly news.
Thur 8 May 2008
So Brussels told the EU we must use
More biofuel. The Americans
With their huge cornfields, how could they refuse
Al Gore’s warnings? Also, how to defuse
The terrorist bomb by not buying oil
From the Middle East? There’s no need for clues:
Of course they’d grow a feast of biofuel.
This all seemed great to westerners, but cruel
To the rest, the starvers. Millions of tons
Of harvested grain that their plates would lose,
Their fates again decided by our loyal
Leaders, chasing votes and obeying friends
In government and business. Hardly news.
Thur 8 May 2008
611 - Amy Amy Amy
Well ain’t life a bitch? Amy arrested!
Amy Winehouse, fine outstanding singer!
I watched a documentary, with some red
Chilean last night. She’s a dead ringer
For Dusty Springfield, but darker; finger
And foot bloody, tattooed with grave excess.
Well, next day she’s banged up in the clink, her
Befuddled stagger and her soiled dress.
She makes a cracking story. What a mess
That crack pipe’s made of her windpipes! She’s fled
From tours, from the James Bond theme tune. Minger
To some, pin-up to others. Caused distress
To dad Mitch, whose black cab’s sadly headed
To North London to bury him or her.
Wed 7 May 2008
Amy Winehouse, fine outstanding singer!
I watched a documentary, with some red
Chilean last night. She’s a dead ringer
For Dusty Springfield, but darker; finger
And foot bloody, tattooed with grave excess.
Well, next day she’s banged up in the clink, her
Befuddled stagger and her soiled dress.
She makes a cracking story. What a mess
That crack pipe’s made of her windpipes! She’s fled
From tours, from the James Bond theme tune. Minger
To some, pin-up to others. Caused distress
To dad Mitch, whose black cab’s sadly headed
To North London to bury him or her.
Wed 7 May 2008
610 - The warmth of the sun
A lovely warm spring day, no coat needed.
The weather can be friendly, usually is
But through Burma a cyclone has seeded
Destruction, loss of life and hopelessness.
The Burmese authorities are far less
Accepting of our help than they should be,
But this time they have been forced to request
Our charity, humiliatingly.
Some good may come of such a tragedy;
In wartime, most of the public heeded
The call for unity; foreign allies
Joining the struggle against the Nazi.
As once our threatened people united,
Could weather’s violence bring us back to peace?
Tue 6 May 2008
The weather can be friendly, usually is
But through Burma a cyclone has seeded
Destruction, loss of life and hopelessness.
The Burmese authorities are far less
Accepting of our help than they should be,
But this time they have been forced to request
Our charity, humiliatingly.
Some good may come of such a tragedy;
In wartime, most of the public heeded
The call for unity; foreign allies
Joining the struggle against the Nazi.
As once our threatened people united,
Could weather’s violence bring us back to peace?
Tue 6 May 2008
609 - Sonnet sea
I’m almost drowning in a sonnet sea
My head is spinning and needs oxygen
Been transferring them all to this site, see,
And now I’m bloody sick of seeing them
But each one individually’s my friend
A relic of each day that I’ve lived through
Since September ’06, and though days end
A record of each one’s there to review
And what more do we have than our own view
In that blink of an eye, mortality
So, as with old photos, let’s look again
At how we felt, for memories are few,
Distorted, simplified, mere fantasy
But we can rely on what we wrote then
Mon 5 May 2008
My head is spinning and needs oxygen
Been transferring them all to this site, see,
And now I’m bloody sick of seeing them
But each one individually’s my friend
A relic of each day that I’ve lived through
Since September ’06, and though days end
A record of each one’s there to review
And what more do we have than our own view
In that blink of an eye, mortality
So, as with old photos, let’s look again
At how we felt, for memories are few,
Distorted, simplified, mere fantasy
But we can rely on what we wrote then
Mon 5 May 2008
608 - Water and other drags
My eyes hurt. I hate swimming. Where’s the fun?
Soaking your face in chlorine is a drag.
You smell funny, even when shower’s done,
Then carry home your wet things in a bag.
Still, in school swimming lessons I could brag
And demonstrate a good front crawl technique
(Though rather slow), but where I’d really flag
Was front crawl foot action. I felt so weak
After two lengths at swimming club midweek
Holding a float, by all overtaken,
Even small girls. ‘This surely ain’t my bag.’
I quit mid-’75 at the peak
Of mediocrity. Preferred to run
Or cycle after that. Or smoke a fag.
Sun 4 May 2008
Soaking your face in chlorine is a drag.
You smell funny, even when shower’s done,
Then carry home your wet things in a bag.
Still, in school swimming lessons I could brag
And demonstrate a good front crawl technique
(Though rather slow), but where I’d really flag
Was front crawl foot action. I felt so weak
After two lengths at swimming club midweek
Holding a float, by all overtaken,
Even small girls. ‘This surely ain’t my bag.’
I quit mid-’75 at the peak
Of mediocrity. Preferred to run
Or cycle after that. Or smoke a fag.
Sun 4 May 2008
607 - Time is tight, when you want to write
My mother’s down in Wales with my sister,
Taking some time out after Geoff’s demise.
I sent her a cheerful bunch of flowers,
And I know that was a pleasant surprise.
Meanwhile, I’m going to see just what lies
On her hall floor, courtesy of the post,
And see what I can deal with as she tries
To rediscover happiness she lost.
I must crack on, or find out to my cost
That when you’re only a part-time writer
You must write when you’ve time, cos that time flies,
And I’m seeing Tania and Josie most
Of the evening, and then staying over,
So I must go. Cheerio, ol’ red eyes!
Sat 3 May 2008
Taking some time out after Geoff’s demise.
I sent her a cheerful bunch of flowers,
And I know that was a pleasant surprise.
Meanwhile, I’m going to see just what lies
On her hall floor, courtesy of the post,
And see what I can deal with as she tries
To rediscover happiness she lost.
I must crack on, or find out to my cost
That when you’re only a part-time writer
You must write when you’ve time, cos that time flies,
And I’m seeing Tania and Josie most
Of the evening, and then staying over,
So I must go. Cheerio, ol’ red eyes!
Sat 3 May 2008
606 - Germ of an idea
A thousand germs all live in my keyboard;
A million germs crawl round my toilet bowl;
My breath spews germs out like a viral sword,
And the rest fester inside my arsehole.
My skin crawls with them on mornings I’ve stole
Without a shower off to work. Handles
Of toilet doors are evil, since the role
Of males is not to wash their hands; it feels
Too girly, or something. Meanwhile, when girls
Get thrush, that’s too much yeast down there they’ve stored.
In beer or Marmite, yes, it’s wonderful,
But I’m afraid I must give thrush the bird.
I wonder if Howard Hughes would applaud
This homage to germs? Poor little rich soul.
Fri 2 May 2008
A million germs crawl round my toilet bowl;
My breath spews germs out like a viral sword,
And the rest fester inside my arsehole.
My skin crawls with them on mornings I’ve stole
Without a shower off to work. Handles
Of toilet doors are evil, since the role
Of males is not to wash their hands; it feels
Too girly, or something. Meanwhile, when girls
Get thrush, that’s too much yeast down there they’ve stored.
In beer or Marmite, yes, it’s wonderful,
But I’m afraid I must give thrush the bird.
I wonder if Howard Hughes would applaud
This homage to germs? Poor little rich soul.
Fri 2 May 2008
Monday 3 January 2011
605 - Hard Labour
Ah, lovely May sunshine and ‘Vote Labour!’
In this part of Salford they usually win
But still their van drives round the area
Persuading us to keep their own man in.
No doubt even here that they’re worrying
About the credit crunch and house prices
Even though years of relentless rising
Has made overdue corrective phases.
If only they’d go back to policies
That looked after the long-forgotten poor!
Instead the poor must help themselves, fiddling
With no assistance from accountancies,
From offshore banks, from fellows on the floor
Of the chamber. My vote? Forgot again…
Thur 1 May 2008
In this part of Salford they usually win
But still their van drives round the area
Persuading us to keep their own man in.
No doubt even here that they’re worrying
About the credit crunch and house prices
Even though years of relentless rising
Has made overdue corrective phases.
If only they’d go back to policies
That looked after the long-forgotten poor!
Instead the poor must help themselves, fiddling
With no assistance from accountancies,
From offshore banks, from fellows on the floor
Of the chamber. My vote? Forgot again…
Thur 1 May 2008
604 - Miscellaneous evening
A busy day at work, then poetry group,
At which I translated Apollinaire,
Then hopped it, cos the European Cup
(Or so-called Champions’ League) was on the air:
Chelsea v Liverpool. The Blues are scared
Because the Reds have equalised, but I
Keep losing the website connection! Where
Does it keep going? At the same time, my
TV is on. It’s showing women, shy
About their private parts, their courage up
Somehow to show all to the nation, bare
In front of cameras. Can’t understand why
They’d be shy with partners, but somehow stoop
To this. Oh well. People are people, yeah?
Wed 30 Apr 2008
At which I translated Apollinaire,
Then hopped it, cos the European Cup
(Or so-called Champions’ League) was on the air:
Chelsea v Liverpool. The Blues are scared
Because the Reds have equalised, but I
Keep losing the website connection! Where
Does it keep going? At the same time, my
TV is on. It’s showing women, shy
About their private parts, their courage up
Somehow to show all to the nation, bare
In front of cameras. Can’t understand why
They’d be shy with partners, but somehow stoop
To this. Oh well. People are people, yeah?
Wed 30 Apr 2008
603 - Goodbye Geoff
Old Geoffrey was cremated there today,
But weeping wasn’t wanted, and was checked.
The minister kept chins up, though we prayed
With chins down, dictated by etiquette.
Where were my flowers? I was quite upset
They weren’t delivered. Geoffrey was let down;
Some incompetent floral bureaucrat
Ignored instructions from Manchester town
With respect to our bouquet. His renown,
However, undiminished, as his day
On this earth is finished. We’ll resurrect
His memory, though his ashes are blown.
And so, as cruel April turns to May,
I’ll raise a glass of cider in respect.
Tue 29 Apr 2008
But weeping wasn’t wanted, and was checked.
The minister kept chins up, though we prayed
With chins down, dictated by etiquette.
Where were my flowers? I was quite upset
They weren’t delivered. Geoffrey was let down;
Some incompetent floral bureaucrat
Ignored instructions from Manchester town
With respect to our bouquet. His renown,
However, undiminished, as his day
On this earth is finished. We’ll resurrect
His memory, though his ashes are blown.
And so, as cruel April turns to May,
I’ll raise a glass of cider in respect.
Tue 29 Apr 2008
602 - Preposterous Austrians
That Austrian fellow takes the biscuit
Locks one of his daughters up, ’84
Has seven kids with her, some never lit
By daylight, but, as ever, the wife saw
Nothing. Did she not wonder where the poor
Daughter was all this time? Or where hubby
Was when he was hidden beneath the floor
In those secret rooms, evenings spent busy
Abusing his grandkids of incest? Free
No longer, this is true, but often it
Is far too late by the time that the law
Discovers their deeds. In his seventies,
Surely no punishment can ever fit
His crime that every parent must abhor?
Mon 28 Apr 2008
Locks one of his daughters up, ’84
Has seven kids with her, some never lit
By daylight, but, as ever, the wife saw
Nothing. Did she not wonder where the poor
Daughter was all this time? Or where hubby
Was when he was hidden beneath the floor
In those secret rooms, evenings spent busy
Abusing his grandkids of incest? Free
No longer, this is true, but often it
Is far too late by the time that the law
Discovers their deeds. In his seventies,
Surely no punishment can ever fit
His crime that every parent must abhor?
Mon 28 Apr 2008
601 - Unamusing musing
Born talented or lucky? No-brainer
Would you like to have been Van Gogh? No way
Nor Rembrandt, Jimi Hendrix - the pain of
Manic depression never goes away
For long; and of the millions in the clay
The mute inglorious Miltons, the friendless,
The good, the meek, filled in that Edward Gray
Eulogised: would you be as they? Confess
You’d rather be financially careless
Nothing stopping you hopping on trains, a
Trans-Siberian trip, writing all day
No office in sight, musings in the press
No more amusing than pub talk. Stay in a
Top hotel. Tell us where (but we must pay).
Sun 27 Apr 2008
Would you like to have been Van Gogh? No way
Nor Rembrandt, Jimi Hendrix - the pain of
Manic depression never goes away
For long; and of the millions in the clay
The mute inglorious Miltons, the friendless,
The good, the meek, filled in that Edward Gray
Eulogised: would you be as they? Confess
You’d rather be financially careless
Nothing stopping you hopping on trains, a
Trans-Siberian trip, writing all day
No office in sight, musings in the press
No more amusing than pub talk. Stay in a
Top hotel. Tell us where (but we must pay).
Sun 27 Apr 2008
600 - Place name game
A quick drive up to Darlington, darling,
Then on to Hartlepool, oh my dear heart
Somehow I drove past Hartburn still feeling
Fine. The north-east wind didn’t make me fart
I’ve been to Bakewell too, enjoyed a tart
Seen man-boobs in Manchester many times
Seen a nice pair in Bristol’s shopping mart
Worn gaberdines in Aberdeen’s wet climes
In Holywell I searched for church bell’s chimes
Broke spokes in Pembroke, September, cycling
Broke more on Dartmoor; my bike fell apart
Seen the Old Bill in Billingham solve crimes
But sod all happened when in Godalming
God, I’ve a girl in Coventry. Let the ride start.
Sat 26 Apr 2008
Then on to Hartlepool, oh my dear heart
Somehow I drove past Hartburn still feeling
Fine. The north-east wind didn’t make me fart
I’ve been to Bakewell too, enjoyed a tart
Seen man-boobs in Manchester many times
Seen a nice pair in Bristol’s shopping mart
Worn gaberdines in Aberdeen’s wet climes
In Holywell I searched for church bell’s chimes
Broke spokes in Pembroke, September, cycling
Broke more on Dartmoor; my bike fell apart
Seen the Old Bill in Billingham solve crimes
But sod all happened when in Godalming
God, I’ve a girl in Coventry. Let the ride start.
Sat 26 Apr 2008
599 - Lines to mine
Hey children! When I’m dead, will you read these?
Will you rethink the thoughts that I once had,
Then shaped into this finished form? Entries
Of emotion, observation, sad, glad,
On global websites and on paper (had
From the office). Will it really matter,
When I am dissolved, that I had not made
The grade, or taken holidays to where
Others have flown with BA, Ryanair,
And droned on about to my envious ears?
Will it matter that I was quite so bad
At living up to my promise? Unfair
Was life to me, and you maybe, but please
Look after these. Feel glad rather than sad.
Fri 25 Apr 2008
Will you rethink the thoughts that I once had,
Then shaped into this finished form? Entries
Of emotion, observation, sad, glad,
On global websites and on paper (had
From the office). Will it really matter,
When I am dissolved, that I had not made
The grade, or taken holidays to where
Others have flown with BA, Ryanair,
And droned on about to my envious ears?
Will it matter that I was quite so bad
At living up to my promise? Unfair
Was life to me, and you maybe, but please
Look after these. Feel glad rather than sad.
Fri 25 Apr 2008
598 - In aYork hotel bedroom
In York again for a tax conference
Sudden rain shower, hid in a café
The work done, I relax; well, in a sense,
Because there’s still some work of sonnetary
Nature to do that can’t be shirked. Here’s me
Sat on the edge of this large hotel bed,
Writing on hotel pad these pencilly
Remarks that pad out what is to be said
In my diary, this one that’s later fed
Into the internet. While I’ve still sense,
Before the drinks begin, I must first say
My fourteen lines (at least not a hundred).
I shall return after maybe immense
Amounts of booze and grub…well, hopefully.
Thur 24 Apr 2008
Sudden rain shower, hid in a café
The work done, I relax; well, in a sense,
Because there’s still some work of sonnetary
Nature to do that can’t be shirked. Here’s me
Sat on the edge of this large hotel bed,
Writing on hotel pad these pencilly
Remarks that pad out what is to be said
In my diary, this one that’s later fed
Into the internet. While I’ve still sense,
Before the drinks begin, I must first say
My fourteen lines (at least not a hundred).
I shall return after maybe immense
Amounts of booze and grub…well, hopefully.
Thur 24 Apr 2008
597 - Brown and soon to be out
When Mr Brown went off to Downing Street
He never thought he’d come home looking glum
But now he’s found that power ain’t so sweet
When you need to be ready with your gun
The arrows from outrageous Cameron
The daggers in the back from backbenchers
He now sees why Blair aged during those ten
Excruciatingly long servile years.
But Gordon, mate, it ain’t how it appears
The banks that you bailed out all think you’re great
The Tories like you cos you’re on the run
The only losers are the poor voters
Who elected Labour (not you) to treat
Them kindly. Oh, here comes an election…
Wed 23 Apr 2008
He never thought he’d come home looking glum
But now he’s found that power ain’t so sweet
When you need to be ready with your gun
The arrows from outrageous Cameron
The daggers in the back from backbenchers
He now sees why Blair aged during those ten
Excruciatingly long servile years.
But Gordon, mate, it ain’t how it appears
The banks that you bailed out all think you’re great
The Tories like you cos you’re on the run
The only losers are the poor voters
Who elected Labour (not you) to treat
Them kindly. Oh, here comes an election…
Wed 23 Apr 2008
596 - Nightly nonsesne
The creaking house at night keeps me awake
Who is that creeping over the floorboards?
Or does the heating system simply make
Strange beatings to water and metal chords?
Such sleepless nights are when the time affords
Such thoughts repeating replayed fantasies
Defeating tiredness. Wives turn into bawds
Treating the mind to kindness and cruelties
Intertwined, meeting niceness with naughties.
But keeping up these pleasantries so fake
Is just like counting sheep in woolly hordes
As they leap over gates, over fences.
And so the night’s noises retreat, the quake
Of radiators receding backwards.
Tue 22 Apr 2008
Who is that creeping over the floorboards?
Or does the heating system simply make
Strange beatings to water and metal chords?
Such sleepless nights are when the time affords
Such thoughts repeating replayed fantasies
Defeating tiredness. Wives turn into bawds
Treating the mind to kindness and cruelties
Intertwined, meeting niceness with naughties.
But keeping up these pleasantries so fake
Is just like counting sheep in woolly hordes
As they leap over gates, over fences.
And so the night’s noises retreat, the quake
Of radiators receding backwards.
Tue 22 Apr 2008
595 - Pyjama drama
Iguanas and llamas in pyjamas
All doing heaps of weeping while sleeping
Armies be harmless to Dalai Lamas
No people should go creeping to Peking
Deepening openings for fee-paying
Surprising rising pricing not so nice
Hating over-inflated rate-paying
Unpleasing wage-freezing, squeezed in a vice
Roll the dice twice. Fate be nice. My advice
Is calmness. No alarms, though in harness
Though cars keep beeping, sleepless eyes peeping
Poor church mice hurry, scurry. Curry, rice
Will warm us. Former traumas and dramas
In steep decline, like once-sleek sheep creaking
Mon 21 Apr 2008
All doing heaps of weeping while sleeping
Armies be harmless to Dalai Lamas
No people should go creeping to Peking
Deepening openings for fee-paying
Surprising rising pricing not so nice
Hating over-inflated rate-paying
Unpleasing wage-freezing, squeezed in a vice
Roll the dice twice. Fate be nice. My advice
Is calmness. No alarms, though in harness
Though cars keep beeping, sleepless eyes peeping
Poor church mice hurry, scurry. Curry, rice
Will warm us. Former traumas and dramas
In steep decline, like once-sleek sheep creaking
Mon 21 Apr 2008
594 - At the funeral
Proximity to death makes life seem bleak,
But while in company we persevere
In laughing at the little things, and speak
Of plans and pleasures, maybe with a beer.
We’ll do whatever makes our minds less clear,
Even after a loved one’s passed away;
Arranging funerals is easier
Than thinking of our fate, or the fate they
Have already met face on. On the day
We’ll meet and mourn, but publicly we’ll seek
To control reactions. Maybe a tear
Or two during the service is okay,
But over sandwiches, no, not a squeak
Of discomfort’s appropriate. Tea, dear?
Sun 20 Apr 2008
But while in company we persevere
In laughing at the little things, and speak
Of plans and pleasures, maybe with a beer.
We’ll do whatever makes our minds less clear,
Even after a loved one’s passed away;
Arranging funerals is easier
Than thinking of our fate, or the fate they
Have already met face on. On the day
We’ll meet and mourn, but publicly we’ll seek
To control reactions. Maybe a tear
Or two during the service is okay,
But over sandwiches, no, not a squeak
Of discomfort’s appropriate. Tea, dear?
Sun 20 Apr 2008
593 - Saturday night party for one
I’ve played guitar along to 90s hits,
And Cockney Rebel, Bloc Party, Dionne,
With Brakspear’s Triple Beer and cigarettes.
I even played Yes ‘Going For The One.’
Stopped when Brian Wilson covers came on,
Because I had to write tonight’s sonnet
Before tonight’s Match of the Day came on.
Yes, I want to enjoy the football. Let’s
Watch Derby beaten by West Ham. No bets
Placed today, true, but even so, well, it’s
Great to see what Paul Jewell says. It’s fun
Watching him squirm in interviews. I’ll get
Some food together, and then I will sit
On the sofa till bedtime comes along…
Sat 19 Apr 2008
And Cockney Rebel, Bloc Party, Dionne,
With Brakspear’s Triple Beer and cigarettes.
I even played Yes ‘Going For The One.’
Stopped when Brian Wilson covers came on,
Because I had to write tonight’s sonnet
Before tonight’s Match of the Day came on.
Yes, I want to enjoy the football. Let’s
Watch Derby beaten by West Ham. No bets
Placed today, true, but even so, well, it’s
Great to see what Paul Jewell says. It’s fun
Watching him squirm in interviews. I’ll get
Some food together, and then I will sit
On the sofa till bedtime comes along…
Sat 19 Apr 2008
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